Page 36 of Cross My Heart
“It is.” Trevor grins. “We were about twelve at the time. I think it’s time you read them.Remember who you used to be. Who you should be. Then think about everything going on right now and make a choice.”
I try to wrack my brain but cannot for the life of me remember what I would have written so long ago that made such an impact he kept it for twenty years! Preston walks over and joins us; they have clearly discussed what is in the letter.
“Why don’t you head to your office and read it,” he suggests. “I’ll head up to check on Tate and Lanie. Trevor can clean up here while Loki watches the girls.”
Ifeel a little ganged up on, but I know they love me, so I head to my office as they asked.
Dear Dex, June 28th, 2002
Dude, camp here sucks. I haven’t found anything I can eat, the people all talk weird, and they are so formal I want to poke my own eyes out. I miss being at home. Please send me some snacks! Anything American will do. Seriously, anything!
The only thing that hasn’t sucked is a girl I met here. She is super cool, I think I might like her, like really like her but I don’t know. How do you know? You’re the sappy heart of our group.Tell me how you’ll know when you love someone? I’m not sure I believe in love anyway, thanks to my parents, but, Dude. This girl! She makes me feel different, so I need some advice…and snacks, don’t forget the snacks.
See you in a couple of months,
Trev
I can’t help but laugh. I remember that summer. It royally fucking sucked. That was the only summer we ever spent apart. Our only means of communication was through snail mail. I go to slip the letter back in the envelope and realize there is another page. I pull it out and am shocked to see my handwriting.
Dude, July 10th, 2002
Why so formal? Are they monitoring your letter writing too? It wouldn’t surprise me. I looked up the camp yesterday. Who has a dress code for summer camp? It must be so stuffy and boring as hell.
I’ve included as many snacks as I could fit in the box. I hope they get to you and they don’t confiscate this stuff. It cost me a small fortune.
Ok, about the girl. Do you realize you never even told me her name? I need names and descriptions to give you proper advice, but this sappy heart will improvise just this once. Here are Dexter’s rules for knowing you’re in love:
Are you willing to do anything to keep her safe, like from snakes and big ass spiders?
To see her happy?
Can you always put her first, even if that means leaving in the middle of the most epic game on X-box?
Think about her dating someone else. How does it make you feel?
Are you happier around her than when you’re not?
Does she make you want to do better? Be better?
I know we aren’t old enough to have fallen in love a bunch of times, but I know you, dude. You’re always going to run from it. When you find the girl that makes you feel all the feels, don’t be an ass. Go for her.
You deserve to be happy, you always have. When we grow up, we will make sure we are all happy, always. We are family, remember that.
Pretty deep for a couple of twelve-year-olds, right? I believe in love, Trev, I have to. I know we will all find it someday. If I ever forget, you remind me, and I’ll do the same for you.
Get your ass back to Waverley-Cay. Summer sucks without you.
Dex
Well, fuck! I guess this is Trevor reminding me.
Does Lanie make me feel all this? My heart says,YES, YOU FUCK, but my mind is a mess. I know I want to date her, but where could it go? How could we do it without hurting her relationship with the kids? Will I be strong enough when she leaves us?
Too many questions are running through my head. I slip the letters in my desk and lean back in my chair. I’ve got a lot of shit to think about.
Lanie
Chapter 15
