Page 99 of Cross My Heart
“Why are you going to rent out the house?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Oh, Lanie. You’ve always known we want to retire to the beach house. In the last couple of years, we have been getting it ready for us to live there at least half the year,” she reminds me.
“So, you’re moving to the Outer Banks?” Julia asks with a wicked grin.
“That’s right,” Pawpaw says, “I can’t wait to wake up to the sounds of the ocean every day.” He really does seem excited, but I can’t help the feeling I’m missing something when I see the looks being tossed around between Mimi, Pawpaw, and Jules. This is a lot to take in, I’m not sure what to make of it.
* * *
Sittingat the large table long after dessert has been served, I take the time to observe my surroundings. Mimi and Pawpaw’s house is still the same as it’s always been, a comfort to my chaos, a safe haven in my world of hurt. The older couple are the same loving people they have always been, opening their home to people that were strangers just yesterday. Scanning the group now, we look like a family. A large, noisy, messy, chaotic, slightly dysfunctional family.
My family, the voice in my head says, not sounding so traitorous these days.
I feel a small hand pulling on my shirt, and I look down to see Tate. He seems nervous and unsure of himself, not at all the kid we have come to love the last few months. “Hey, Tate-o-nator, what’s up?”
He shrugs his little shoulders and I excuse myself from the table. Dex appears concerned, but I tell him we’re okay. Walking Tate back to my little slice of heaven at the window seat, we both get comfy.
“What’s up, big guy? You don’t seem so happy.” I try to sound upbeat, but something about his posture has the hairs on my neck sticking up.
Without looking at me, he hands me a big sheet of paper. I know instantly that it’s our family portrait he drew at school. I swallow, trying to fight back the tears,why is he giving this to me?
“In case you don’t come home, I wanted you to have this. You’ll always be my family too, Lanie.”
I stop fighting the tears and let them fall. “Oh, Tate, I’m sorry if I made you worry. I am coming back, remember, I promised you.” I tell him, holding him close.
“But you might not stay, I heard my dad talking to uncle Trevor on the phone last night. He was super upset too. If you can’t be my forever, can you promise to always call on my birthday?”
I’m crying so hard now I can’t breathe. Dex was upset, Tate wants me to be their forever.
What the hell am I going to do?
Dex
Chapter 37
It’s been two weeks since we arrived home from Vermont. I haven’t pushed Lanie, I know the conversation with her mother and then the McDowell’s dropping the bomb of their retirement on her has been a lot to process.
The first week, she was definitely subdued, retreating to her room most nights as soon as the kids were in bed. This week, I feel as though something has changed. She’s welcoming my affection, sometimes sleeping in my bed so I can hold her, sometimes staying in her own room, I try to take comfort in the small victories.
Lanie has promised Tate that she will be here for Christmas, so I’ve decided it’s time to get MLM ready for her. On my way home from the office, I stopped at a little Booksmith on the outskirts of town and told him what I want. He took all the copies of the texts I have saved since the first MLM group text went out, explaining I would like space left at the end of each day for me to handwrite a note. If he is confused by this outlandish request, he doesn’t say so. He simply tells me it will be done in a week. As far as I know, Lanie has not made any decisions yet, and to be honest, I’m scared of pushing the issue.
Pulling up to the house, I notice Sylvie is here. She is parked in front of the garage so I can’t pull in—that’s strange.Did I forget she was coming? Pulling in beside her, I make my way to the front door, letting myself in.
“What the hell? Lanie?” I yell when I notice Harper sitting in the middle of the entryway. Looking past her, I see Sara sitting further down in the hallway. “Lanie?” I yell again, picking up Harper and making my way to Sara.
This isn’t like Lanie at all. Just as I’m about to panic, Trevor steps out of the hallway bathroom.What the fuck is going on?He points to Harper, then Sara, then himself. That’s when I notice they all have matching red shirts on.
“Trev, you’re worrying me, what is going on and where is Lanie?” He doesn’t answer, just points again to Harper, Sara, then himself.
That’s when I notice they have words printed on them. Harper’s saysThe,Sara’s saysThingand Trevor’s saysAbout.
Trevor takes Harper from my arms and nods down the hall, Preston walks forward, taking Sara from my arms, and I notice his shirt saysLanie,and I start to sweat. I might even be trembling.
What kind of man fucking trembles?
Preston senses my hesitation and puts a hand on my shoulder. He also doesn’t say anything, but the grin exploding from his face puts me at ease, somewhat. He nudges me to enter the kitchen further, where I find Sylvie.Her shirt saysIs.She gives me a kiss on the cheek and turns me toward Tate. I walk over to him. He is so happy, he is bouncing on his toes, and my heart rate picks up. Placing a hand on my chest, I see his shirt saysShe.
Holy fuck, I think I’m having a heart attack.
