Page 44 of Cross My Heart
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Lanie
“Jules,I can’t see your face. What are you doing?” I ask, trying to figure out where the hell she has the phone pointed.
“Sorry, Lanes, I just had to finish up a text. What’s up with your Irish face?” She asks, winking, finally angling the camera so I can see her.
My laugh is instant. “I’m just missing your Irish face, I think. Oh, and Dexter kissed me again.”
Julia makes a surprised face that, after fifteen years, I know it is totally fake.
“Okay, Jules, spill. You’re a terrible liar. How did you know he kissed me when it only happened an hour ago?” I command.
“Well,” She looks totally uncomfortable.
“Spill it, Jules,” I say, leaving no room for argument.
She tries another tactic, “I hear Charlie crying...do you hear him? I’ll have to call you back.”
“Don’t you dare. I’ll get GG to your house before you can even blink.” She knows I would too.
“Fine, but you have to promise not to be mad. And not to leave your room until morning so you don’t say something you’re going to regret. And promise not to be mad at anyone,” she begs.
“Julia! You are scaring me, what the ship are you talking about?” Anger and fear are taking over.
“UGH! This is not supposed to be how you find out. We had a whole plan.An awesome plan, Lanes. It would have worked too if I wasn’t such a shit liar,” she admits in defeat.
“God, Julia, why would you lie to me and WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’m totally freaked out now.”
She lets out a huge sigh, which I know is to stall for time. “Well, you know how your boss just got back from a trip?”
“Yeees?” I answer nervously.
“Well, did he ever actually say it was a work trip?” She asks, not making eye contact through the phone.
“Holy hot pocket, just spill it, Julia!”
She slaps her hands to her head then slowly peeks into the camera between her fingers. It’s like she has diarrhea of the mouth, and I can’t even be sure I understand everything.
“Well, he came here,” she begins, “to Burke Mountain. He stayed at the Wagon Wheel, THE WAGON WHEEL, Lanie. He met 80% of the town in Dunkin’ then came to Mom and Dad’s house. He wasn’t trying to betray your trust. We honestly think he cares about you. He wants to date you. Weirdly, he wanted Mom and Dad's approval, and I guess their support because he knew it was going to be hard to get you to agree. He cares about you, Lanes.” she finally sucks in a breath.
I’m pacing my room. Swinging my arms wildly.
“Lanie, for fuck's sake, stop swinging the phone around before I hurl all over my room.”
I stop and glare into the phone. “Why, Jules? Why would you all gang up on me? You’re supposed to be MY friend. MY family. Were you even going to tell me?” I ask, fighting back the tears.
“Lanie, I’m sorry. Yes, I was going to tell you but not right away. We had a plan. Mom, Dad, me, and Dexter, who is as hot as you fucking said he was,” she says with a grin.
I roll my eyes and am shaking with fury.
“Listen to me very closely, Lanie. We love you, but you have had a fucked-up life. My parents always wished they could do more for you, but your douche-canoe of a mother wouldn’t give up her parental rights. We have always felt like we failed you in some way,” she pauses to collect herself.
“Then, well, then Zachary happened, and none of us were there to protect you. You almost died, Lanie. I promised myself the second we found out you would pull through that I would find a way to help you heal, to have a happy, whole life. I think if you find a way to give Dexter a chance, you could have all that and more...with him,” she says, her love for me written all over her face.
Through my tears, I stare at my best friend. “Julia. How can you even stand me? It’s because of me you left that conference in Boston without getting that guy's name. For crying out loud, we call him Boston because you never had a chance to find out his real name. It’s my fault Charlie will never know his dad. So much is my fault, how can you care so much about me being happy? I ruined your happily ever after by being there the night Zachary attacked me,” I cry.
“Now you listen here, you asshat. You did not ruin anything. There is no way of knowing if Boston would have even given me his real name after the game we had been playing all week, let alone his number. You know I’m not an easy person to get along with sometimes, Lanes. And I don’t know how else to tell you this, but what happened, happened to you, not because of you. No one is to blame, but Zachary,” my best friend exclaims, imploring me to finally believe her.
