Page 96 of Beach Cottage Kisses
Scott was talking. She tuned in, holding on to his voice to pull herself out of the funk she’d fallen into.
“…in the same vein, I have to say that I see things, too.”
Right, of course he did. They were talking about him. Not her.
She had to stop making everything about her.
When had she started doing that?
“I know.” Relieved to hear her voice sound so normal, Iris continued with “You’re extraordinarily perceptive. Part of the reason you’re so good in the courtroom.” Was he doubting his abilities to see nuances because he’d missed one of his own?
Because he’d been lying to himself.
She could fix that one for him. “I—”
“Let me finish,” Scott cut her off. And then added a very odd sounding “Please. I’m not sure I’ll get this out if I don’t.”
Her heart softened toward him. Feeling him. “Of course.” She kept her tone light. Encouraging. Whatever words she had to offer to help him get through his moment could wait as long as they needed to.
Whatever…anything…he needed, she wanted to give to him.
“These months we’ve been…together…”
Fear struck again as he spoke. He was ending it. Was ready to move on. She wasn’t. The possibility had always been there. That one or the other of them would be first. That they wouldn’t reach that point together…
He glanced her way. She didn’t glance back.Just say it, she implored silently.
“You’ve been so happy, so much stronger, coming out of hiding, as you put it.”
“You’re right. It’s the best.”
“But you aren’t done, Iris.” His speech sped up. “I’ve suspected for a while, but it became obvious to me tonight. Seeing you not only with Leigh, but with Sage and the new baby, too. If you’d seen the longing on your face…you’re meant to be a mother. The instinct is there. The need is there.”
She heard him. Kept walking. Tamped down anger. A lot of it. He had no business… They weren’t… He wasn’t… He had no right…
“And I want it, too.” She took in those words. They made no sense. Scott wanted her to be a mother?
“These last two months, with Sage and Gray married… I’m not Leigh’s father figure anymore, and I finally realized tonight that that’s part of why I’ve been struggling.”
He’d been struggling?
Why hadn’t she known?
She’d thought they were doing great. Other than her bouts of fear, which were just a part of who she’d become after Ivy’s death, she’d never been happier.
Damn him for not being honest. They’d said they be honest.
“The past four years, I thought I was just being a supportive uncle, helping my sister, but I realized now that I was using Leigh as a surrogate for what I wasn’t going to have, a child of my own. Because that’s something I really want.”
“What about all that stuff you said once about living up to your father’s expectations? The example he set? You said you’d never be able to be as hands-on as he was because of the mental focus required by your job…”She was lashing out. Fighting for her life.
“I said I’d never get married again, too.”
Right. That. “I know!” She agreed with him. Getting him back on track.
Until he took a light hold on her arm. Stopped walking. And she stopped, too. Rather than just keep going. Leaving behind what she valued most in her current world.
“I’m not saying that anymore, Iris. I think we should get married. We understand each other. If I’m working too much, you’ll let me know. When you’re struggling, I understand. Maybe with other people, we couldn’t make it work, but together, we can do this.”
