Page 86 of Princess of Pride
Fuck. I stand there floored by what Emery confessed. It hit me like a kick to my ribs and cracked something loose. When I chose her over her sister there was one thing I thought they had in common. The inability to care beyond themselves. Although resilient, I thought Emery would be as shallow as her mother and sister appeared to be. Not capable of deep emotion and certainly not capable of hitting me where it counts. She’s much more vulnerable than I expected her to be. I detest weakness, but on Emery, it makes me want to protect her more. Worse, it makes me crave her more, not just physically but emotionally. If I allowed it, wecouldbe more. It would be easy for me to make love to her, to be gentle in a way I never bothered to be before. Like fighting, sex was another act of aggression. I’ve pushed Emery to lose control when it comes to me. I’ve abused my power over her, luring her in and then shoving her away, only to rush forward and consume her however I desire. At every turn, she resists then folds for me. Last night, she fell apart without a fight and then scared me to fucking death.
I thought I’d lost control and did something that only happened once after Ewan died. Mum was distraught and scared with her new diagnosis. I wasn’t getting anywhere with Garyn at obtaining his business. I punched the shit out of the bag in the cellar. I even sparred with Wes. It wasn’t enough. Tessa knew I was suffering and told me to use herhowever I needed. I fucked her hard in the ass and then in the pussy. She loved it and put my hands around her neck, adding pressure, urging me on.
“Harder,” she begged.
Everything about that encounter is blurry, except for when she went limp. I thought I killed her.
I tapped her cheek, trying to coax her back, and was about to call for help when she came to.
“Someone doesn’t know his own strength,” she said, weakly but not upset. Her tone hinted at teasing.
How could she joke about this? “I can’t believe I did that.” And without knowing. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, Lachlan. Relax. You’re not the first person to do this to me during sex. It’s a kink.”
We’d only just started fucking back then. I didn’t know how erotic she was. Her brother thinks she’s timid about sex because of how their parents behaved when they were children. For how protective he is over her, he’s clueless about this side of his sister.
“You should see your face,” she teased. “White as a ghost. It can’t be the first time you’ve seen someone pass out. Not with the way you fight.”
She’d forgotten that two days earlier, my mum passed out while climbing the stone staircase to her library. I should have been there to help her. Instead, I was an hour away at an underground fight club, indulging my own needs while she lay at the bottom of the stairs—bruised and broken.
Lorna had been in the kitchen working. Mum knew to get her if she needed help, but she was so damn stubborn. She didn’t want to accept she was weaker now. She’d always prided herself on being strong. The motto on the MacReid family crest, which I had tattooed on my torso, meansstrong and faithful.
I got my other tattoo of the Dara Celtic Knot after my dad was murdered to show Mum I’d always stand strong and be there. The knot was her favorite symbol, representing nature, inner strength, and endurance. She lost that belief in the end.
Maybe because I failed her—worst of all on the day she jumped. I was even in the castle, but I wasn’t paying attention, too caught up in my own issues. I won’t do that to Emery.
When I chose her to marry, I felt nothing beyond attraction—which I'd felt for plenty of women before. I enjoyed taunting her. Now, I look forward to seeing her. I crave touching that silky skin and watching her come alive when I arouse her. I worry about her. But I worry about everyone. I want to believe it’s nothing. It has to be. I’m going to ruin her family’s legacy, tarnish her name forever when I take over Spencer Securities and make Angus a partner—per our agreement.
I used to not care. The business won’t go under, it’ll just become dirty. I’m no saint when it comes to investments and getting my way. I’m a partner in many firms, but I’ve kept the money clean. The distillery has always been legitimate—unlike the way Angus and his dad, before he died, run their farm.
It’s late to uphold what I promised Mum, but I’m committed to doing it, only now, hurting Emery in this way isn’t sitting easily with me. Putting distance between us might be a good thing.
I text Lorna.
Lachlan: If Emery eats and takes it easy today, have Rory take her to the stables tomorrow and introduce her to Boyd.
I’ll text him and make sure he gives her a docile horse, just to be safe. If riding is what she needs to distract herself from all the changes, I’ll allow it as long as Rory goes with her as a chaperone.
As much as I’d rather send Wes than my cheeky brother, with how cold Wes has been toward Emery, now that he’s herewith her and his sister, who’s clearly upset over this, I don’t want to push him any further.
I also need to see Tessa. The fact that she saw Emery and brought her here has me a bit concerned. She knows I don’t allow anyone in my room. I never even invited her in here. She took Emery here to piss me off, which means she’s not as okay as she’d let on.
21
A RAY OF SUN
Lachlan doesn’t visit me for the rest of the day. I’m slightly upset having gotten used to him appearing in my room.
Mostly, I enjoy the break. I can breathe better when he’s not around. I text Lorna for that tour of the castle. She shows me the bottom floor where there’s a ballroom, cigar room and bar, kitchen, staff rooms, and the orangery of course.
I meet Chef Henri, who is in fact French, complete with a curly mustache. He shows me additional refrigerators with desserts and cheese and fruit snacks at the ready should I desire any. The second floor has the gallery, formal dining, and gathering room, Lachlan’s study, and a beautiful, much statelier library than the enchanting one in the tower. It also has bedrooms.
She treats me to the service elevator, pretending she wants to use it for herself when we go to the third floor. It’s mostly bedrooms, including the one Lachlan carried me to upon my arrival and where we had our first sexual interaction. It was the only bedroom door that was open, which is how I recognized it.
These are all for guests,Lorna explained. Is there a reasonwhy he didn’t take me to his bedroom or was it simply too many floors to climb?
We enter a gathering room that matches the size of the gallery directly below. The grand staircase is visible from here, along with another informal dining room in the same place as the fancier one on the floor below. Kat had come out of a bedroom on this floor, but I haven’t seen her since. I also haven’t met the infamous Tessa and can’t help but wonder if she’s hiding from me.
