Page 85 of Princess of Pride
“Your dad?”
“Rory’s dad. My stepfather. He was murdered too.”
My gaze jerks to Lachlan. “Too?”
“The feud I told you about between the full-blooded MacReids and the imposters, as they call us, was reignited by Angus’s father. For the last two centuries, there had been tension, but also peace. When my mum married my dad, Angus’s father had him killed because he was English and set to inherit the castle and title through my mum. She moved back here afterward and married a Scotsman, hoping to placate Angus and his dad, but it wasn’t enough. They tried to kidnap my mum, but Ewan protected her and died as a result. So Angus’s father had an accident that left him dead.”Did he just casually admit to having a man killed?“Angus became even more hell-bent on reclaiming Duhnill. He can’t stand the idea of me—a polluted half-Brit, half-Scot—having ownership of this place.”
To my surprise, a defensive ball forms in my stomach toward anyone who dares to challenge Lachlan—that and a good amount of fear about him interacting with Angus.
“I cannot believe they still live with this mindset,” I say. “It’s medieval. Can’t they let it go and move on?”
“It’s what they believe in. A code they’ve lived by, passed down from generation to generation. Much like your father still believes in arranged marriages.” He adjusts the throw pillow so it sits outside the blanket. “What it really comes down to is old grudges and greed. Mostly greed. Duhnill Estate is both impressive and profitable.”
“Have they ever tried to kill you?” I ask in a small voice.
“They’ve wanted me dead for a while, but I’m a lot harder to kill. I made sure of it after Ewan died. I turned to underground fighting. By the time I was eighteen, they had tried to kidnap me twice but stopped after I killed one of my cousins.” He doesn’t lose himself in the memory. Instead, he watches me calmly, studying me for my reaction. “I’d kill again to protect you. To protect everyone here from suffering because of an old blood feud.”
Good god. My dad has no idea who Lachlan truly is. I focus on my breathing, aware it’s ragged. I’m sure the horror I feel is written on my face. “These are the stories you were referring to in the pool house at my parent’s estate—the secrets you warned me about learning.”
How naive I’d been to think it was about him being gay.
He turns to face me directly. “Do you understand now why I won’t let you leave this castle and why I won’t send you home? No one can protect you like I can. I won’t risk losing someone else important to me.”
Important.Not someone else heloves. That was the arrangement. Marriage on paper. Pretending it’s real in public. But the sex…? Nothing stated that he’d desire me with such passion or that he’d pleasure me like he does. I couldn’t have known I’d crave his touch or come to understand his reasonings, which only confuses the situation more. Physically, he’s a romance hero brought to life. He’s also a sexy villain, a tormentor, and a protector. He’s complicated, seductive without even trying. Standoffish but also caring, and now I know the reasons why. I know the loss and hurt he’s suffered.
I owe him the same respect, especially after the horrific ways so many of his family members were removed from his life.
“Thank you for sharing all that with me.” I trace my fingers across a collection of books that look historical, my focus on them rather than him to make this easier. “I understand you better—your motives anyway. And I want you to know, I would never try to end my life. I was sad yesterday. Extremely hurt. It was shocking learning I have a different mother and that she died giving birth to me. I don’t even know what she looked like. Do I look like her? Did my twin brother? Were we three matching caramel chews?”
“Caramel what?” The word actually sounds pretty in his English accent.
“Chews,” I answer. “It’s a candy I loved as a child. Who am I kidding? I still love it. It also describes me.” I face him and hold out strands of my hair. “I’m one color. Caramel from head to toe.”
“Hmm.” He digests my words before speaking. The corner of his mouth lifts with a tiny grin. “I think of you as golden. A golden princess.Mygolden princess.”
All the breath leaves my lungs. How I didn’t faint from that is beyond me. I felt it in every cell of my body. And now I’m in trouble. Big trouble. Huge.
I could see myself falling for him. Easily. One time in bed with Lachlan where I give myself to him completely, and I’ll be a goner. Over the cliff, floating in the clouds, dreaming of a love I can never have with him. And that won’t do.
“Are you all right?” He steps to me and brushes his fingers down my cheek.
I resist leaning my head into his touch. Tears sting my eyes, but none fall.
“Yeah,” I whisper and turn away, perusing the bookcases again but not really seeing them. “This is the most I’ve ever shared with anyone. Even my best friend only gets glimpses that I allow. I never cry in front of her. I rarely cry, but here I’m a fountain of tears. I think we should stop seeing each other.” I exhale a slow breath, working to maintain my composure.
“That’s not how this works, Emery. We’re married. For better or for worse.”
“Well, this feels like for worse.” I sniffle and turn, following the curve of the bookcases in the opposite direction.
“Talk to me, Emery.” Lachlan moves behind me and touches my shoulders, stopping me. “Is it your birth mum? Whatever information you want or need, I’ll get it for you. If it’s an escape you want, I’ll take you across the castle grounds. I’ll show you the gardens when the weather is better. I’ll take you down to the coast if you want.”
Tears break free, and my head falls forward. “You’re the problem now. Don’t you get it?” I whirl to face him, my cheeks wet. “I need a break fromyou,or I’ll end up doing something I swore I wouldn’t do. Something you would not like. Something that could destroy this truce between us.”
His brows draw together as he absorbs all I said. He blinks a few times. “I understand.”
“Do you?” I snap through my hitching breath and tears. “You want to do all these wonderful things to my body. Give me all these amazing firsts. You showed me this room, opened up to me in a way I never…neverwould have expected from you. You care for me in a way my own family never has. It’s messing with my head and making me believe you care morethan you do. I know your limits, Lachlan, especially now. I guard myself too. It’s easier that way—safer—but you… I can’t give you my heart. I just can’t. It would be a waste.” I wipe my nose and walk away, leaving the room in search of tissues and privacy.
Lachlan
