Page 83 of Finally Forever
Nathan gave me Antoine. I used Antoine to get three other names. Antoine doesn’t know who I chose out of the three, so neither could uncover my plan until after it’s done.
Paolo doesn’t know much about me, other than he’s received a partial payment and that I mean business. When we finally meet in person, all will be revealed. He’ll know me at once. But he won’t pose a threat because his malevolence toward my father is as great as mine. My father and grandfather killed his family at a funeral. Multiple cars were bombed. His dad, mom, and two sisters were collateral damage. He’d do this without me, which is partly why I chose him.
He’s been watching my father, waiting for the right time for us to take action. A time when he is accessible and vulnerable. Opportunities like that are rare when he’s surrounded by his security detail twenty-four-seven.
And now that time is upon us.
I need to play it cool until tonight when everyone goes to bed. If I start challenging Ainsley now, Nathan will give me shit. Riley might, too. Hanging with them for two weeks has been great, a reminder of why I befriended them in the first place. I wish nothing but the best for them, and when this is over, if I’m around to talk about it, I can visit with them again. See them get married and do normal shit.
Ainsley would like that. Fuck. How am I going to blow her off when things have been so good between us?
Muffled laughter draws me to the window. In the front yard, Ainsley, Kensie, and Nathan throw snowballs at each other. I’m beginning to think winter never ends when you’re up this high, tucked into the side of a mountain.
Ainsley cackles, the sound reaching into my chest. I can’t see her features from here, but I know her nose is scrunched. She scrunches it when she doesn’t like something, too. It’s cute.
I laugh at the thought. She told me she hates being called cute. I used to call her cute a lot, apparently.
But she is. I’ve never found it cute when a woman snorts when she laughs. Ainsley doesn’t do it a lot, but when she does, she doesn’t sound like an animal or anything. It’s sweet, like her.
She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever known. She tastes sweet, too, but she’s sexual in a way I didn’t expect. I couldn’t see us as compatible before, but now it’s all I see.
I fell in love with her once. I could do it again. She makes it easy. I believe only she can stir that deep of an emotion from me. It’s how she is, open, caring, so loving and accepting. She’s not harsh; she doesn’t judge.
The way she looks at me, with so much love, is something I’ve never had. She looks at me as if I hung the stars in the sky for her. I’m not the man I was—I may never be without my memories—and she still loves me.
This woman has the power to ruin me. I’m at the point where I’d let her, and that scares the shit out of me. But only after I take care of my father. She’ll benefit from my doing so, as will everyone else I know.
Only then can I move on with my life—with her. If she’ll let me. If she rejects me, I’ll feel the loss. I’ll miss her. The ache in my chest right now is proof. The sensation is new and stirs panic in me whenever I think of her alone, without me. Or worse, loving someone else. Sharing her laughter and tears, her sweetness and body with some ass who I’d want to kill.
I force myself to take deep breaths, hoping to ease the tightness in my chest. How did I navigate these feelings when I was falling for her in college? Is this how she got me to let down my guard and let her in?
She must have rocked me to the core, like she is now. From her stories about our past, I tried to resist her and failed. I worry I’m close to that precipice again. One wrong step and I’ll fall over the edge and stay with her, like I did before. That can’t happen, not when I’m this close to my revenge.
As if Ainsley senses me, she glances at my window. With her head tilted, the sun splashes across her beautiful face, making her glow like an angel. Her lips move, and she waves for me to join her.
Tonight, and what I have to do, will come quickly enough; until then, I want to see her smile.
29
Ainsley
Sebastian steps out from the front door dressed in all black again, looking like a model about to do a photo shoot. His sex appeal calls to me in the same way it always has, only now it’s amplified by mystery. My fiancé is a mystery to me. Never imagined that could happen.
He kept busy for most of the morning, didn’t even stay in bed with me like usual. I only got to show him one video of us in Scotland watching sheep in the drizzling rain. Our photo journey of our past followed our travels backwards. I didn’t plan to start in France and backtrack from there to Scotland. It just happened that way. We’re almost caught up, thanks to sex in the morning and at night, and Sebastian has yet to remember any of it other than bits and pieces, none of which make sense to him.
A few times he showed frustration but not enough for me to believe he desperately wants to remember, and that concerns me most of all. Whenever we were in Europe and he received bad or concerning news about his family, he retreated to his office. He doesn’t have an office here. Xavier does, and Sebastian has been disappearing more than usual, especially this morning.
Kensie throws a snowball and whacks Nathan in the cheek. He charges her and tosses her over his shoulder like a caveman. She squeals.
I can’t help but laugh. I love hanging out with these two. It’ll be sad to see them go tomorrow, but Kensie has given me an open invitation to visit them in Orlando whenever I want. They have a condo on Lake Eola that sounds amazing, although I’m not sure I’ll be vacationing anywhere normal soon. I don’t know anything about my future right now.
Sebastian shuffles to me where I stand by a stone wall and landscaping near the driveway. “Where’s Riley?”
“Nova FaceTimed him. He went inside for privacy.”
He nods and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his puffer jacket.
Mine are warm in my gloves. Even with the cold temperature, the sun shines bright in a cloudless sky and no breeze blows.
