Page 5 of Finally Forever
I just stopped my pills so I should still have the medication in my system, making it harder for me to get pregnant. Right? Also my period just ended, so I’m less likely to be fertile. And there’s my family history… Mom and Grandma struggled to conceive. My brother, Evan, was considered a miracle. I was a fluke. A mistake.
Considering all this information, it’s safe to assume Sebastian didn’t just put a bun in my oven.
I release the breath I’m holding and stand, more confident than ever. “I’m good.We’regood.”
My skin is damp, and my hair is dripping from the ends and in knots, but I can’t brush it until I tell Sebastian we’re in the clear.
Holding my towel where I folded it, I race out of the bathroom.
He isn’t in the bedroom. I check the hallway, the kitchen, the family room, and still, I can’t find him.
My pulse spikes anew. “Sebastian!” I spin in a circle and stop when he appears at the open French doors. Stress shows in his red eyes and pinched brows. “It’s okay.” I run over and take his hands. “I can’t be pregnant. The timing is wrong, and I don’t think it’ll be that easy for us. We’re okay.” I nod with confidence.
The strain on his handsome face doesn’t ease.
“Sebastian?” I squeeze his hands in mine. “It’s okay. I promise. I just had my period. The odds of me getting pregnant are low, and the women in my family don’t impregnate easily.” Weird conversation.
He doesn’t share my enthusiasm. He’s internalizing this and finding a way to blame himself. It’s his new thing, or maybe he’s always done it and I never noticed before.
Or, he’s having a migraine—something he tries to hide from me, but lately I’ve caught glimpses of the pain in his eyes.
For Sebastian, a guy who trained himself not to feel pain after years of beatings from his father, to notice more than discomfort means the ache is tremendous.
If I ask him if he’s having a migraine, he’ll deny it; so I do the only thing I can. I touch his cheeks with both hands and go up on my toes to kiss his lips.
He doesn’t respond.
My towel slips from my body and lands on the floor. I shriek and dive for it, wrapping it around me as fast as I can. It’s silly. He’s seen every inch of me naked. It’s not just us living here, though. Xavier has a room and office upstairs, and the cleaning and cooking staff come weekly, but they’re off today.
“I know. I need help,” I tease, certain he’s thinking the same thing I am.
When I straighten and meet his gaze, his features are soft with a small, amused smile.
I swing my arms out in a grand pose as if I’m a circus ringmaster. “Decorative and entertaining. Thank you. I’ll be here all night.” I give a dramatic bow.
He chuckles through his nose, like he can’t help himself. I’m proud I’m able to ease his worries or pain or both, if only for a moment. He has more nightmares than I can ever imagine from his past and upbringing. Any cheer I can bring to his life is deserved.
“Better?” I ask, holding my towel at the top to keep it in place.
His eyes close with a soft exhale. “I want to give you everything. A baby one day, if we decide we want a family, but now isn’t the time.”
I smile. “Now definitely isn’t the time.”Wait!“Did you say you want to have a baby with me one day?”
His cheeks turn pink for the first time since I’ve known him.
“What’s going on?” He can’t be nervous. A pit forms in my gut. Is this the something bad I’ve been sensing? Crap. “Can I at least put on some clothes and brush my hair first?”
When I step back, he takes my hands. “You’re perfect, more beautiful than ever. The most beautiful. You’ve changed my life and continue to make every day better than the one before. I never want to part from you.” He sinks to one knee.
I gasp, and my hand flies to my heart.
“One day, when we’re ready, I want to have a baby with you. I never thought I’d want that, never wanted a child brought into the world I grew up in. But you’ve changed all that. I can’t ever thank you enough, but I can give you my heart. You’ve owned it since the day you almost smashed my face with that door.”
I laugh at the reminder of when we first met, even as tears spring to my eyes.
“I had this planned differently. Dinner and an evening stroll along the coast. But then you came out looking as beautiful as ever in your towel, with your wet hair and skin glistening, being your adorable self, and I didn’t want to wait. I don’t want to. I want you to be mine forever.” He raises his palm. “Don’t move. Stay right here.”
He steps around me, digs in the drawer on the console table behind the couch, and returns to his previous spot. Again, he lowers to one knee and takes my left hand. In his other hand, a beautiful ring sparkles in the late morning sun.
