Page 75 of Sugar Coated Lies
Chapter21
Everleigh
The next morning,I call Sadie from the privacy of the balcony nestled in the heart of Atlanta. Sun rays peek through the buildings, hitting me in the face like a strobe light as I pace, explaining everything. Grandpa. How I got here. What I’ve been doing.WhoI’ve been doing, and how I feel about him.
Sadie and I cry together over the loss of Grandpa, but the tears aren’t as hard to stop this time.
She insists on helping me clean out the house and wants to meet Daire in person. Ever the bulldog protector of a friend, and I love her for it.
* * *
I gazeat the woods lining the highway as Daire drives me home.
He covers my hand where it rests on my lap with his big, warm one. “How are you doing?”
“Good.” I force a smile.
“Are you nervous?”
He can read me that well? I nod.
“I can stay and help, too. It’s not a problem.”
He already offered to help Sadie and me clean out the house after I talked to her on the phone this morning.
“You haven’t worked in a week.” Not entirely true. He reads emails and checks on stuff, but he hasn’t dedicated himself to the farm since my grandpa died. Instead, he’s dedicated himself to me.
Who does that for a person? Daire. Because he loves me. It’s unnerving because it’s not a tainted love. It doesn’t come with strings. It’s not manipulative. It’s not for show or superficial, like my high school relationship. It’s real, and I need to find a way to accept it and return that same affection. He deserves it.
“The farm is covered. My concern is for you.”
He is the sweetest man ever. I don’t feel worthy or deserving of such love.
I kiss the top of his hand. “Thank you. But I’m good. And when Sadie and I are done, I’ll bring her to the farm, if that’s okay. She wants to meet everyone and see where I work.”
“Of course. I’d love to meet her, too.”
We stop at Carol’s house first and get Grandpa’s ashes. They’re in a bag in a cardboard box.
Guilt slams into me that I didn’t order an urn from the place that handled his cremation. But they were expensive, and Grandpa won’t be in it for long. All my family is in a lake at our favorite park. Mom and Grandma talked about it before my parents died. I didn’t know, but Grandma told me after we lost them and informed me that Grandpa’s and her wishes were to have their ashes sprinkled there, too.
The lake has several benches shaded by trees where you can sit and enjoy the sun sparkling off the water as birds chirp about. I took Grandpa there many times, but he didn’t always remember the ashes of his entire family were released there.
Sometimes I wondered if his Alzheimer’s was brought on by heartache from so much loss.
The box sits on my thighs, and I hold it between both hands.I’ve got you, Grandpa.I’m sorry I left you for so long.
A typical burial and memorial happens after three days. I avoided dealing with this for six days.
I need to have a small service at the lake for him. Carol, me, Sadie, and Daire will be the only ones there. I should make a pecan pie in memory of him for after the service. We can eat it at one of the picnic tables like I did with him when he was alive.
My heart sinks in my chest, and I swallow the emotions threatening to take over.
Save it for the service.
Daire parks in the gravel driveway and walks me into the house. The familiar scent stirs my sadness more. That and Grandpa’s favorite recliner.
“I should have been here,” I murmur.
