Page 68 of Losing Forever
“Oh, baby.” He pulls me to him for a warm hug. “I’m so sorry it’s me and not them.”
“I’m not,” I whimper with more shame. “I mean, I am, but I’m also horrible because I’m thankful for you. You helped me see my hideous scar as beautiful. You’ve accepted this damaged version of me and given me the best sex of my life.”
“If you thought that was amazing sex, you have even more to be thankful for. I’m going to cherish this body in a bed the next time.”
“Next time?” I wipe my eyes. “What happened to your one-and-done policy?”
His brows tighten. “Did I mention that to you?”
“Caitlyn did. We had lunch shortly after you took her out.”
He straightens his upper body away, his arms still secured at my waist. “What else did she say?”
Even with his arms still around me, his stiff posture makes him feel distant. I step back and wash my hands at the sink as an excuse to get away. “Not much. Just that you made out.”
His head lowers, and he sighs. “She told you what I did then?”
“Did?” I open a drawer in search of something to dry my hands. It’s filled with towels, like it was my whole life. For a moment, I’m shocked, until I remember why. When Aunt Lina tried to pack up the house, I screamed for her to stop. I was so out of control back then.
Focus colors became my way of healing. I stumbled onto the study of colors online and liked it so much I pursued it in college for a year when I moved to Florida.
Grayson runs his hands through his hair. “I don’t even know how to explain what happened. Well, I do. I just didn’t think I’d be explaining it to you. I’d never done anything like that before.”
Wait, what? I set the towel on the counter. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. Can we talk about something else, anything else? I hate bringing up past failures.” He strolls to the TV area and plops down on the couch.
His response has me oh-so-curious. I round the counter and sit next to him. “You failed at pleasing Caitlyn? She left that part out.”
He shoots me an incredulous look. “I’ve never failed at pleasing anyone.HadI made out with her in that way, I would have succeeded.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you two messed around.”
He leans back and slaps a hand over his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this with you.”
My lips part with a shocked grin. “Now you have to.”
“No.”
“Yes.” I climb onto his lap and try to pry his hand from his eyes.
“Braylee, please. It’s not something I’m proud of.”
“The fact that you’re embarrassed has me dying to know. To semi-quote a man I talked to once while he was naked in the shower, ‘You know what I look like naked.’ Scars and all. ‘It’s only fair you return the favor.’”
He grins and peeks at me through his spread fingers. “Sounds like a very wise naked man.”
“Come on.” I successfully tug his hand from his face. “Show me your scars. They can’t be worse than mine.”
He rests his hands on my thighs. “Your scars are beautiful. Mine not so much.”
“If you ever want to see mine again, you need to tell me what happened.”
“Whoa. That’s a serious ultimatum.”
I raise an impatient brow. If I were standing, I’d tap my foot.
“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He drops his head on the back of the couch. “When Caitlyn was…pleasing me, I pictured someone else in my mind doing the act. I got so turned on I forgot who I was with and almost came, screamingthatperson’s name.” He squeezes his eyes shut.
