Page 26 of Losing Forever
The fight in me leaves. “What do you mean?” Why does he sound so tortured?
“I haven’t been out with a girl in a while, and I’ve been…tense. I thought a date would help.”
“You thought sex would help.”
He nods. “Caitlyn was the wrong choice. But she was available and interested, so I jumped at the chance to get laid. I know that makes me sound like a dick, and I guess I am. I don’t always think, and it gets me into trouble. It always has.”
“Noah said you just got out of a relationship.” Why am I prying—to learn if he screwed that up, too?
He exhales. “I did. When my dad went to jail, shit changed fast. People were in my life; then they weren’t. My girlfriend left first. My mom disappeared next. Friends and teammates followed, looking at me and treating me differently. I went from being known as the college ballplayer with a promising future to the player with a criminal father who launders money for the mafia.” He lets out a humorless laugh. “People wondered if they could trust me. If I knew the truth about my dad’s businesses. If I was in on it. If my dad used his mafia connections to get me my pro offer. If my high GPA was real or paid for. If I was a threat. A target. It was too much. I needed an escape, so I came here, and you see how well that’s gone so far.”
“Grayson. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with all this.” My hand is on his chest before I can stop it.
He sucks in a breath. Holds it. “It’s not your fault,” he murmurs in such a sad voice.
“It’s not yours, either. Your life was ripped away from you. People you cared about left when you needed them, and everyone else judged you.” I remember overhearing stuff about Grayson’s dad in the news, but I didn’t pay it much attention, too caught up in my own life and problems. My aunt and uncle never talked about it, either. I wish I’d asked them questions about his family and friends. But then, he was a last-minute addition to the Clearwater branch, so I wouldn’t have known to ask, or that he’d be a part of my life.
He lowers his head toward mine, his bangs brushing my forehead. “Noah told me you were good at stuff like this. He said you helped him, and he thought you could help me.”
“He did?” My heart grows lighter. Noah has always thanked me for my help, but he never acknowledged it worked. I'm so happy it did.
“Yeah. He also told me to keep my distance from you.”
“Why?” Is Grayson interested in me?
“I think it’s obvious why. I have a talent for screwing things up. I have a talent for screwing too, but that doesn’t help to keep me out of trouble.”
Holy hell, that was sexy. My insides heat.
“Noah wouldn’t be a good cousin if he didn’t threaten to beat my ass if I touched you.”
I suck in a breath. “Did he say that?”
“Not in those words.” He plays with a strand of my hair. “I don't know why I’m so honest with you. You're like a walking truth serum. I shouldn’t be touching you, either. See how easy it is for me to get into trouble?” He runs a finger down my arm.
Shivers break out across my skin. I should pull away.
“Tell me I’m a prick and to leave you alone.”
I don’t say anything. I can’t. My body thrums with feelings and desires I want to enjoy, if only for a moment.
“Bray?” He slips his finger under my chin, tilting my head back, and bringing our lips dangerously close.
Pre-accident me would have jumped him by now. That girl had balls. She took chances. The girl I am now is protective and scared of what people will think when they see the real me. The patched-up quilt of flesh beneath my clothes. Who will want me then? No one. This is all I can allow.
So I stand here, flirting with him, pretending I’m not broken. I’m just a normal girl in the dark, wanting a guy who wants me too.
Kiss me,I will him, smart enough not to make the move, but not smart enough to not wish for it.
He brushes his nose along my cheek and whispers in my ear, “You should go to bed.”
I sway, lightheaded in the most wonderful way. “Why?” Don’t I know?
“I’m trying to do the right thing and we both know how bad I am at that. Now, go to bed before I prove how un-gentlemanlike I can be.”
My core clenches and my panties are instantly soaked. I didn’t know mere words could make me wet and desperate for sex. I’ve been doing it all wrong, dating the wrong guys. Amateurs. But Grayson and I can never happen. He knows it, and I do, too. Still, I can’t make myself leave the warmth of his strong body.
“Braylee.” My name in his tortured voice is the sweetest sound. “Go. Please. This is my last warning.”
