Page 112 of Waiting Forever
Nathan
I FALL TO my knees in my bedroom and fight the urge to cry like a baby.
Harper is having twins. Fucking twins. Two heartbeats. Two white peanut-looking things on the video of the sonogram she sent to my phone.
Last night, she went to the hospital with cramps. They admitted her because her blood pressure was high and that’s when they discovered she’s pregnant with twins. She’s better now but it’s too early for the doctor to determine whether she’ll miscarry. They’re doing all they can to keep her relaxed, but it’s in nature’s hands at this early stage.
Only time will tell.
That’s not why I’m on my knees, though, on the verge of tears. The hospital gave her the paternity results. Before I left for Dallas, I met her at her OB-GYN downtown and let them swab my mouth.
I’m not the father. I can’t believe it. I also can’t believe the touch of sadness that hit me when I realized I wouldn’t be a dad. All this thinking about a baby and the possibility of having one stirred something in me—a desire for a family. With Kensi.
For two weeks, we’ve been trucking along, trying not to talk about the baby. We celebrated Kensi’s birthday with a low-key dinner at the condo. Azure came, and after he left, I made sure Kensi came three times. First on the dining room table, then on the rug, and again in the shower.
Harper had a meltdown the next day. She called me hysterically crying and begged me to come over. I didn’t want to go but Kensi insisted, in case Harper’s upset harms the baby and that baby happens to be mine.
To know the baby isn’t, and Kensi and I are free to have our own family one day—and free of Harper forever—is the greatest joy.
I take a small Tiffany box from the top dresser drawer. I’d bought this when I bought Kensi the bracelet. I wanted to give it to her when I knew we’d be okay. And we will be now.
I’m not the same guy I was two months ago, or even two weeks ago. And I’m not going to let fear keep Kensi and me from having everything we want.
Our parents aren’t an obstacle, like we thought. They’re a conversation we’ve yet to have and I’m going to do it as soon as I present this to Kensi. We can tell them together we’re in a committed relationship, in love, and in it until the end. They can be angry or upset. They can feel and express whatever they need, but they won’t break us apart. They can’t.
I understand that now. Kensi and I are forever. Eventually, they’ll come around and they’ll see how much we love each other. They’ll be happy for us.
I stuff the box into my pocket and find Kensi on the balcony, watching the people on the swan boats peddling across the lake.
A breeze rushes me as I step outside. The temperature reached eighty-five today. Gotta love Florida. “Hey.” I drop down onto the chair next to Kensi. She sits at the small table.
Her sweater hangs off one shoulder. Her hair falls in burgundy waves around her face, those bright-blue eyes stunning as they set on me. Her bare feet are tucked up on the chair, her lean legs exposed all the way up to her cut-off jean shorts. She can make anything look sexy.
“Have you thought about what you want for dinner? I can order out or we can cook.”
“I’m still stuffed from breakfast.”
This morning I surprised her with breakfast in bed. She thought I was going for coffee. Instead, I drove to Sugarloaf and returned with her favorite raspberry lemon cream pancakes. She thanked me with one of her amazing blow jobs, which ended with sex on the floor. Best morning ever!
She glances at her phone on the table, a frown curling her lips. “My mom called. She misses me and wishes she was here. I told her I’d visit for Thanksgiving instead of waiting until Christmas.”
“Okay. I’ll go with you.”
Her face lights up. “Can you get off work?”
“I will for you.”
Her smile falls. She tucks her hair behind her ear. “What about our secret?”
“About us?”
“And the baby?”
I laugh, exhale with relief, and laugh again.
Her brows tighten. “What was that?”
“I’m not the father.”
