Page 102 of Waiting Forever
39
Nathan
KENSI WALKS INTO the living room dressed like a vixen. Black shorts the size of underwear cover her perfect ass. Black tights hug her long, lean legs. A T-shirt fits snugly across her breasts, the hem meeting the waist of the low shorts. She paired it with a cropped black jacket. She has on high-heel sneakers and holds a bat in one hand.
My dick gives her a standing ovation. He doesn’t understand she’s not ours anymore. That piece of heaven may be gone to us forever. Because of us. How ironic.
Last night, Kensi and I parted ways, with her telling me she needs time to think. I barely slept. My mind wrestled with my possible future of sharing a baby with a woman I never imagined fathering a child with and the possible loss of the woman I love more than anything in the world.
I had to stop myself from asking Kensi if she thought we could work it out, even if Harper is pregnant with my child. She doesn’t need that kind of pressure or baggage. We’d both be tied to Harper through my kid.
For the second time, I think of how much easier it would be if I’d gotten Kensi pregnant instead. I would tell our parents I’m in love with her, ask them to respect our decision, and to be a part of our lives. I’d promise to be the best dad and a doting husband. I’d make them proud. I’d make Kensi proud and she’d be cherished.
That train of thought is bad for me. It’s worse when I try to think of Harper as a mother. She hasn’t even heard the heartbeat and already she’s planning to move to New York City and hire a full-time nanny.
“I assume you’re going to a costume party,” I say to Kensi. We never got around to why she had out a costume last night.
“Yeah.” She finger-combs one of her burgundy pigtails. “The costume is outdated, but it’ll be dark. I don’t think anyone will care.”
“Can I ask where you’re going and who with?” I inch toward her as anxiety builds in my veins. I don’t want her going out dressed like this without me being around to protect her.
She gives me the sweetest smile. “I love that you ask me now instead of acting like a caveman.”
“I’m trying.” Little does she know that caveman is still in me, wanting nothing more than to drag her to the bedroom and give her multiple orgasms until she falls asleep safely in my arms.
“I’m going to a Halloween party at a corn farm in Zellwood with Azure.”
Of course, she’s going with him. But now that I know he’s gay, my only concern is her safety. “Does Azure know karate?”
“What?” She laughs.
“Can he protect you if some guy or a few guys get too close?”
She laughs again. “I don’t know. It’s a good thing I can take care of myself, right?” she teases, reminding me she’s no damsel in distress. “And I have this cool bat, so I think I’m good.”
This time, I laugh. “I wish I could go with you.”
Her smile falters. “I wouldn’t mind you coming. I just don’t want it to be weird because we’re not together.”
And there it is. The words I’ve dreaded hearing. In her mind, we’re over. She might as well have swung that bat at my chest. I said I’d make this easy for her, didn’t I? And from the way she’s lingering close to me, I can tell she wants me to go. Time to walk the walk and show her I can be who she needs me to be. “What if I promise not to make it weird? We could go and have a good time. Nothing more or less. Just us, the way we were when we were younger. I’d like to meet Azure, anyway.”
She laughs with disbelief. “Since when?”
“Since…?” Oh hell, I might as well be honest. “I know he’s gay.”
Her eyes stretch wide. “How do you know?”
“My dad mentioned it.”
She swats my arm what the back of her hand. “How long have you known for?”
“Not long.”
She rocks back and forth on her heeled sneakers, her silence killing me. “Fine. You can come, but you have to wear a costume.”
I hold up a finger. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.”
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