Page 53 of Waiting Forever
“Okay.” I nudge his arm and slide out from between him and the railing. “We can go.”
He stares at me for a long moment, thoughts racing behind those eyes. His expression is one of mild torture.
Now, I’m even more curious about what he’s thinking, and even more reluctant to ask. Knowing isn’t always a good thing. In cases like this, ignorance is bliss, or rather, it’s less painful than what the truth might be. He regrets spending so much time with me—or doing so has caused him to feel guilty because of Harper or our parents. Maybe even both.
After the incident, Mom told me,“What others think or say about you behind your back is none of your business. You don’t need that polluting your head. What you think of yourself is all that matters.”
I’ll have to tell myself that over and over again with the hope it will stop my aching desire to know Nathan’s thoughts and my fear that they’re the worst.
22
Nathan
IN MY ROOM, I pace from the bed all the way to the door and back. I’ve been doing this for the last hour. Ever since Kensington told me she’s going on a date.Tonight!
I wanted to ground her, which is completely out of line, but what else can I do? I can’t stop her. She’ll leave, regardless. She’s an adult and has every right to go where she wants. I just didn’t think she’d be going on a date this soon—or at all. And with that guy with the stupid name.
When did their friendship take a turn? Have I been avoiding her so much I failed to see the signs?
After that amazing night at Hillstone, I haven’t had the willpower to be around her. It had been a long time since I had that much fun or felt so relaxed, like my old self. Kensington brings it out in me.
That night, I forgot about the stress of work, my continued need to prove myself, my worry that Harper will find a way to fuck things up for Kensi, and the sadness I still carry over the loss of my good friends.
It was fucking perfect up until the moment on the dock when I snuggled up behind her and thought,I want this—maybe forever.
It freaked me out. I pulled away from her that night and have been busying myself with work ever since. Last week and weekend, the family business kept me from Kensi. This weekend and week, I used it as an excuse to keep myself from her.
And look what I missed? Kensi falling for someone else in my absence.
At least, I don’t have Harper adding to this clusterfuck of a situation. We still haven’t spoken since the time she hung up on me.
My guess is she’s moved on and that’s why she’s been MIA. Can’t say I’m sad about it, either. I don’t even miss her. Instead, I feel relief.
We were a phase that burned out. Neither of us were happy, nor did we bother to hide our misery. We were sex.
After that night with Kensi at Hillstone, I realized I want more than sex. I want what Kensi and I have,andsex. But I can’t hit on her or use my best moves to get Kensi into bed, even though I’m dying to strip her naked and find out how good she feels beneath me. She deserves more, and I haven’t a clue how to go about that.
This date, however, has the caveman in me ready to throw her over my shoulder and lock her in my room until I mark her as mine.
Because she is mine.
I trip over the rug near my bed and continue my pacing, my fingers curled into fists.
I bet this guy, Azure, has wanted her all along. Anyone with eyes would want her. Kensi’s personality makes her even more appealing. He’s probably been biding his time, pretending to be her friend when all he wants is to get into her pants.
Has she even considered this?
She doesn’t know himthatwell. A few weeks is hardly enough time to get to know a stranger.
Did brunch this morning mean nothing to her?
I’d felt like a dick for being standoffish this week and wanted to apologize. I didn’t have a lot of time, but I wanted to see her. It’d been eating at me for the past few days, so I left a shit-ton of work on my desk, sent her a text I was on my way to get her, and drove to Ryland.
Suspicion showed in her eyes as she climbed into the Hummer. “Why the sudden need for brunch?”
She smelled like heaven. I welcomed the familiar scent filling the SUV. “I’ve been busy, and I’ve missed you.”
A blush touched her cheeks as she strapped on her seat belt. “We live in the same house. You see me every day. How can you miss me?”
