Page 60 of Unlocked Dive
Byrd was right. Loveissomething to be afraid of, and it’s time for me to grow up.
“What happens after the eval? Do I stay in SF and train with this new coach?” I ask, not opening my eyes. It’s easier if I can’t see his face, can’t read the feelings there and risk being shattered by them.
“If you nail it, like I know you will, then that’s it. You have your spot, and you can do whatever you want with the rest of your summer.”
I open my eyes. He’s smiling at me.
“I can come back here? Until—” I’m back to hating August, and the relief bursts out of me with a laugh.
“If that’s what you want.” His lips twitch in amusement as I scramble out the window and into his startled arms. He stumbles back a half step but regains his balance quickly, twisting to lean against the side of the truck as I lock my arms around his neck so I can kiss him breathless.
“What do I get when I crush the eval?” I ask, tilting my head so he can nibble down my neck.
“Besides a place ata top international circus school?” How dare he sound amused when I was three seconds from a complete breakdown?
“What do I get fromyou?” I clarify.
“Why do I feel like you’re about to tell me?” He sinks his teeth into the muscle of my shoulder, and I arch into him.
“I want to top you.”
His head lifts to study my face.
“Echo—”
“I’ll make it good for you, I promise.” I don’t remind him how much practice I’ve had.
“That’s not…” He shakes his head and runs his hands up my back. “You know my feelings for you aren’t contingent on how you handle the evaluation or your performance on the rope, right?”
“I know.”Mostly. This isn’t about that. It’s about something I’ll be giving up to give him what he wants, even if, deep down, I know I want it too. It’s about claiming another piece of him before I lose him, even if it makes it harder on us both. It’s about closure I don’t want but think I might desperately need. “Think about it?”
“I don’t need to think about it. And I don’t need to wait to parcel it out like a reward.” His voice drops to that dangerous octave. “You’re not the only one with those fantasies.”
My dick is wide awake now, any residual guilt I might have felt at asking for another sacrifice gone in the rush of blood his words provoke.Yesnowrightnowplease.
“No.”What am I doing? “You wouldn’t be yourself if you didn’t tease me with it as long as possible.” I keep my voice light, but the truth is, Ineedhim to hold out. I need a reason not to throw—or fail—the eval. Yes, I’d have to spend a few weeks inSF faking it for a new coach, but then I’d be free to spend the rest of my life in Byrd’s bed.
Most of me has already discarded the idea. Most of me knows I do still want to train in Tilburg. But the small, weak,right nowneedy part of me might still decide to sabotage the whole thing. My mortar is fragile, and I don’t entirely trust it. I need an extra incentive.
Byrd will know if I throw the audition, and it will crush him.
Yeah, but this incentive is way more fun.
I reluctantly peel myself away from his body and lean against the truck beside him.
“How did the rest of the conversation go?” I ask, changing the subject to one more likely to get my dick to behave. “Obviously you’re fired, but is she really pissed?” I don’t want to be the reason he loses his best friend.
He scrubs a hand down his face, but he’s got one finger casually hooked in the waistband of my jeans, tracing the groove along my hip.Not helping.
“As my very temporary boss, she’s livid, but mostly at having to cover her ass. As my friend, she’s curious. And not as surprised as she’s pretending to be.”Stroke.
“Huh.”
He gives me a sideways look at the nonresponse, then circles his finger lower with a smirk. “I’ve never known anyone better at reading people than Reggie.”
“She’s barely met me.”
“She knowsmevery, very well.”
