Page 58 of Unlocked Dive
“A ploy?”
“Well, yeah. Considering you ditched them at the first possible opportunity. I could have gotten myself tested weeks ago and blown the whole thing up. You would have needed a newexcuse.” He tugs his hand free and continues his downward exploration.
“They weren’texcuses.” I’m mildly disgruntled at how easily he sees through me without ever stumbling on the deeper truth. “They were reasons. Legitimate ones, if you ever stopped thinking with your dick.”
“Why? When, for once, my dick and my heart are in perfect alignment?”
“How about your brain?”
“My brain.” He sighs but pulls his hand back to safer territory. “Reason one: You’re too old for me. Obviously bullshit. You keep up with me on the rope and in the sack, and I’m clearly the more emotionally mature partner in this relationship.”
“You are?”
“Sure.I’mnot afraid of being in love.”
“That’s because you’ve never lived through it before. That’s not maturity; it’s naiveté.”
“Jesus.” He stills behind me. “Someday, you have to tell me how these exes of yours convinced you that you’re only worthy of loving when you’re on your knees.”
“You seem to enjoy me on my knees.”
Echo is not the only one who can distract with innuendo.
“Only when you want to be there.” He traces the curve of my ear and rubs his chin in my hair.
“Reason two?” I prompt, caging the spreading warmth his fierce words leave in their wake.
“Reggie. The job.” There’s a hint of a grin in his voice. “That one’s easy.”
“Easy?”
“Yup. Reggie’s only goal was getting me back to NCC in shape. That never would have happened without this.” His hand has found its way back to my dick, and he gives it a squeeze. “So really, she should be thanking you for a mission accomplished.”
“Any coach Reggie sent you to was going to be good, Echo.” But I’m only arguing on principle. I know what he means.
Love and fear, loss and desire; a perfect storm rearranging two lost souls in a redwood castle.
And he hasn’t even guessed Reggie’s second motive for sending him here—the lifeline she forced on me to take my mind off myself and my failed marriage. Even if me falling for her student wasn’t exactly her plan, I think the part of her that loves me won’t be as mad as she’ll pretend.
As long as I keep my heartbreak to myself this time.Which brings us to…
“How about the third reason? Got an easy answer for that one too, my wise young twink?”
“Our expiration date,” he grunts. “That one’s on you, you know. I’m all in.”
“Meaning what? You ditch your dreams and don’t go to Tilburg?”
“There are other circus schools. Hell, there are other ways to have a circus career besides going to school. Just because you went there, and Gabe did…” He pauses, and I wonder with a flash of panic that feels like relief if he’s finally put it together. “Well, Cici isn’t a guarantee of a performing career, anyway.”
“I made a mistake when I chose Lara over my career. You are not going to make the same one.”Please listen.“And your brother…”was never what you are.
“You only want me to go because you’re afraid of my dad.”Bitterness. “But I could go somewhere else, somewhere just as good but closer. ACCA maybe. Or I could always take advantage of my new connection to Cirque. My dad wouldn’tcomplain about that.” He tugs painfully on my hair and laughs, but I’m afraid he’s only half joking.
“So we’re back to sucking my dick to get ahead?”
“I could suck your dick and stay here. Shilo won’t give a shit about my dad. We could run away with Big Top.”
Oh, Echo. Don’t you see how small that dream is? Your dreams need to be unstoppable. Just like you are.
