Page 54 of Unlocked Dive
The butterflies die an abrupt, icy death.
“Is he—does he want me to come home?” He can’t make me. I’m fucking twenty-one years old. But if he makes things ugly for Byrd, will Byrd want me to stay?
“He’s concerned about your place at NCC. He was very adamant that if our behavior—mybehavior—jeopardizes your evaluation in any way, he would be taking legal action.”
“It’s not illegal for you to fuck me.”
“No, but it is unprofessional. Remember what I said about Cirque not caring unless someone makes them care? A sexual-misconduct lawsuit might get their attention.”
“I’ll call him back right now. I’ll explain it wasn’t your fault. It was me who pressured you. I’ll tell him that I’ve decided not to go to NCC anyway, and he can keep his stupid money.” I’m babbling, and Byrd is shaking his head.
“Echo. Echo, stop. That’s the last thing he wants to hear, and it won’t help anything.”
“Then what do we do? Are you gonna make me leave? I—pleasedon’t send me away.”
How can he make me feel like a man and a terrified child at the same time?
“Hush. I’m not sending you away. We still have some time.”
“Do you need to get a lawyer?”
“Maybe eventually, but I’m hoping it won’t come to that.”
“You have a plan?”Please have a plan.
“I think it’s time to call Reggie.”
“But you said she’ll fire you. That she’ll find someone else to finish my evaluation.”I don’t like this plan. This plan sucks.
“Yes. Someone unbiased who will confirm that you are fully capable of starting classes in the fall at the level they expect of you. Reggie can assure your father that you still have a place at Cici, and he’ll have no reason to make trouble.”
“But I’ll still have to leave. Go train with someone else.”
“I think I can convince Reggie to put that off for a little while, but eventually, yes.” His face is still, unreadable. “It’s the best thing for you, Echo.”
“Are you shitting me?No. The best thing for me isyou.” I’m trembling all over, dust falling from the mortar in the cracks in my soul. “I can’t do this without you. I don’t evenwantto.”How can he just stand there like it’s already over?
“Echo, I’m not Dumbo’s magic feather.”
“Fuck you, Byrd. Dumbo’s feather was bullshit. You’rereal. Iloveyou.” The words fall out, and the room crystallizes, confession and indrawn breath coated in sunshine amber. Every gold fleck in the dark forest of his eyes shines, and the weight there is enough to bury me.
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” A whisper neither of us believe.
“Don’t do that.” I start to move toward him, but he steps back, and I’m suddenly furious. “Goddammit, Byrd. You don’t get to fuck me and then treat me like a child who doesn’t know what it means.”
“Do you?”
Another step. This time, he doesn’t retreat.
“Lie and tell me you don’t love me back.”
Silence.
“Fine. Not brave enough to admit it? Thenshowme.” I throw my phone at his chest, and he catches it in startled hands. “I got my results back,” I tell him, then take the final step. “All clear.”
I watch the words sink in, the heat pool in his eyes, and the struggle across his features as his infernal conscience tries to hold on.
Fuck this.
