Page 40 of Broken Pieces
How can I help her if I can’t even help myself?That’s the question that has me pondering the most. I’ve barely managed to pick up my own broken pieces, how can Ipick someone else’s? The feelings I’ve developed for her just went to a whole new level, knowing that she needs someone. I want to be that someone and be there for whatever she needs. Iwant to be the one to make her dark days sunny. How can I, though? When I’m the darkest day of them all.
This territory is unknown to me. All I’ve focused on is in my business and building my empire. Going against every memory I have with my father.
You’ll never become someone, he’d said. But here I am, a self-made billionaire.
You’re too weak. You wear your heart on your sleeve, he’d said. But here I am, with my perfectly crafted mask, showing the world how strong I am.
But it’s all a damn lie.
My mask is a lie.
I’m broken; empty; lonely.
To see her just like me, another broken soul opened old wounds that I’ve been avoiding; wounds I didn’t—don’t—want to face.
I haven’t even stopped to think about the kiss and what the hell this means for us. What if she regrets kissing me? It’s not like we spoke about it. Her panic attack was more than a sign, though. It’s clear she’s having mixed feelings about it.
Maybe she doesn’t regret it after all. Maybe it’s just all in your head.
I want to talk to her about this. God knows I do, but where do I even begin?
Do I want her to be mine?Yes.
Why am I hesitating, though? The reasons I refuse to accept are there, front and center.
Because I’m terrified of being rejected. Terrified that I’ll hurt her because I don’t know how to care about myself. How can I expect to care for someone else?
You already care.
You care more than you allow yourself to admit.
My brain is scrambled, my thoughts all over the place, and I can’t pinpoint a plan of action. Which scares the fuck out of me, because I’m a calculated man. Hell, I’ve calculated every move since I created my empire. In life, if you don’t get your shit together, it's just going to keep throwing you a million things at once until you drown. And right now, I’m fucking drowning with the uncertainty.
Today’s the meeting, so I have no other option but to push every thought away. Otherwise, I’ll fuck everything up and the gallery can’t afford it. This needs work. It’s my life project, after all. Failure is not an option.
With everything that has been going on, the break-in is the last thing on my mind, but I know we need to get to the bottom of it, which is why I’m arriving at the restaurant now before the meeting so I can speak with my cousin.
I spot Enzo at the bar with a stack of paperwork. The man is a gambling and partying addict, but he’s also a workaholic like me.
“You know you have an office for a reason, right?”
Enzo looks up, offering a mischievous grin. “You know I love being on the floor, making sure the staff is doing okay.”
“More like to flirt with your staff. Seriously, Enzo, you’re a walking liability.”
“You worry about yourself,cugino.”Cousin.
Adjusting my cufflinks, I get right to business. “Did Matteo find out who hacked my security system?”
He sighs before taking a sip of his whiskey. “No, not yet. But he said he’s close.”
I lean in, my tone sharp and serious. “Tell him if he needs motivation, I don't mind breaking a few of his teeth.”
He waves his hand dismissively. “Noted. You’re not as scary as you think you are, by the way.”
All I do is glare at him.Dick.
He looks around, and I see the amusement in his eyes as he asks, “Where’s the redhead?”
