Page 54 of Sleigh Bells and Snowstorms
“Bloody prick,” I grumbled.
Maybe I just needed to take Nora’s advice and call Natalie. Hearing her voice would put me at ease. I brought up her number and called.
No answer.
That was odd. She couldn’t be at work; they were on strike. Had she left her phone elsewhere and hadn’t heard it?
Her voicemail greeting ended, and I decided to leave a message.
“Natalie, darling…” I wasn’t sure what else to say. “Give me a call when you get this.”
Well, that had been bloody stupid. Jealous and tongue-tied? What the hell was wrong with me?
And why hadn’t Natalie answered?
I kept driving, resisting the urge to ring her again. I was being irrational. Natalie wasn’t the type to be glued to her phone. The fact that she hadn’t answered didn’t mean anything.
Except what if it did? What if she’d ignored my call because she was angry with me? What if I had hurt her feelings?
How could I live with myself?
Feeling like I had a concrete block crushing my chest, I gave in and tried her number again. Still no answer. Fortunately, I stopped before I made an even bigger fool of myself on her voicemail.
My sudden fear of having hurt her was not a good reason to abandon what might turn out to be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. But my fear of having hurt her combined with concern over why she wasn’t answeringandmind-numbing jealousy?
That did it.
I rang Maple.
“Yes?” she answered.
“I have to go back.”
Heedless of the legality of the maneuver, I cut across an open spot in the median and flew onto the eastbound freeway.
“I’m sorry, what?” she asked.
“I have to go back to Tilikum. I can’t go to Paris.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“My reputation is at stake. I can’t leave a job unfinished. If word got out that I abandoned a client for a bigger fish, what would people think? We’re trusted because we’re reliable.”
It wasn’t a bad argument. I almost believed it myself.
Maple sputtered for a second. “Well… Perhaps… I guess you have a point, although Deacon is very good.”
My lip curled with distaste at hearing his name. Not good enough to work with my Natalie. “Still. I have to see this through.”
“Are you sure? You realize what you’re giving up?”
“I know exactly what I’m doing.”
She took a deep breath. “All right. I’ll get things worked out on my end.”
“Brilliant. I’ll touch base when I’m back in Tilikum.” I ended the call.
A weight lifted from my shoulders as I sped through the rain. Did I know exactly what I was doing?
