Page 85 of Hit the Ground
“Maybe this was her letter,” I said. “This box was her showing you what you meant to her.”
A heart-wrenching keening sound came from her, and she fisted my shirt in her hand. “It’s too late. Why couldn’t she have shown me years ago? It’s too late now.”
“I know, darlin’. I know,” I crooned, stroking her back, her hair, anywhere I could to soothe her. “Something kept her away. I wish I could explain it, but I can’t. All I know is, I see a big sister who was proud of her little sister, and she wanted you to know it. That’s what I see in that box.”
“She should have told me. Why couldn’t she have said it?” She squirmed, like she was trying to get closer, like she wanted to crawl under my skin. “This isn’t fair—sending me this box when I can’t scream at her for ignoring me all these years. I want her here so I can tell her how messed up this is. Why isn’t she here? She needs to be here so I can tell her—”
Another racking sob stole the rest of her words. She cried and cried, years’ worth of tears, anger, and sadness rising to the surface and bubbling over. I held her through it, letting her tear at my shirt, pressing her wet cheek to my throat. And I looked at the pile of mementos Alice’s sister had saved. Wondering about the woman who’d sent them, if she’d had any idea how badly Alice had needed a connection with her. Or had she been too caught up in her own turmoil to notice?
We’d never know what she was thinking, but it was clear to me how she felt. She might’ve been jealous of Alice’s life, but she was also proud. Watching from afar, seeing her sister’s accomplishments, keeping track. And one of her last acts was to make sure Alice knew Silla hadn’t been able to live out her own dreams but watched while Alice had gone after hers.
It was terribly, incomprehensibly sad. I didn’t know the right words to say or how to make any of it better.
All I could do was be here.
After a while, Alice’s tears stopped flowing, and she got so quiet, I thought she might’ve fallen asleep. Then she lifted her head and blinked at me.
“I got your shirt wet.”
Despite everything, I laughed. “I’m honored to be the one to soak up your tears.” I swiped her cheek with my thumb. “Though I’m hoping you don’t cry a lot of them with me. If you do, I’ll make sure they’re happy ones.”
That earned me a groan as her forehead fell to my chin. “Dang it, Caleb, stop being so…so…lovely. I’m already far too attached to you.”
“Is that so?” I gave her hair a gentle tug, pulling her face back so I could look at her. “I disagree with that. You’re the right amount attached, but I’m thinking you could be a little more.”
Her eyes darted between mine. “Keep this up, and it’s going to happen.” She brought her hands up to my jaw, sliding them along my beard. “Thank you. I’m really glad I didn’t have to go through that box alone. I don’t know if I feel better or worse, but I’m glad you were here with me.”
“You get it, right? That’s what I’m here for. You have something heavy, I want you to share it with me.”
“Okay. It might take me some time to get used to that, but okay,” she said softly. “The same goes for you, you know.”
I dragged my palm along her back, splaying wide at her waist. “Are you okay, darlin’?”
“Yes, I think I am.” She rolled her lips over her teeth. “I’m sad, and kind of angry, but I’m okay. I have to accept I’ll never understand what she was thinking.”
“You won’t. But now you know you were always on her mind.”
“Right.” Fresh tears welled in her eyes, and she blinked them back. “I’m pissed she didn’t tell me that…but what can I do about it?”
“Nothing except grieve what could have been and move on from it.” I touched my lips to hers. “You don’t have your sister anymore, but you have a whole lot, Allie. You’re not alone, and you won’t ever be.”
She groaned again and whispered, “Attached,” making me chuckle. What was with this woman—breaking my heart in two then making me laugh out of nowhere?
If anyone was attached, it was me. I was completely gone for her.
So I told her, because she deserved to know. “I like the hell out of you, Alice Clark.”
She traced the bottom of my lip with her thumb and smiled. “I think you know I feel the same, Caleb Kelly.” She tugged at my shirt. “This is all wet. Why don’t you take it off and come to my room?”
“You have another shirt for me?” I was trying to remember if I’d left one here. There was no way I’d fit more than an arm in one of Alice’s.
She shook her head. “I don’t. No shirts at all.”
It took me far too long to catch on, but what was new?
I raised my brows. “Are you flirting with me, darlin’?”
Her grin turned teasing. “I was trying. I’m not well practiced, but—”
