Page 100 of Hit the Ground
For a long moment, he didn’t answer. When he finally did, his voice was flat, scraped thin. “He’ll be fine, but I’m all talked out.”
I reached for his hand anyway, lacing my fingers through his, and leaned into him. “Then we don’t have to talk. Not right now. Come to bed with me.”
He didn’t give me a response, only stared past me again. It stung, but I swallowed it down. This wasn’t about me. I pressed a kiss to his shoulder, then slipped my hand free and stood. “Okay. I’ll be in bed if you change your mind.”
I turned toward the hallway, bracing myself for the wrongness of going to bed without him, when I heard him shift behind me. His footsteps followed, slow and plodding. By the time I reached the bedroom, he was with me, stripping off his shirt before sliding beneath the covers without a word.
He let out a long breath and flung his arm over his eyes. “You shouldn’t have waited up. I know you’re tired.”
I slipped into bed with him, rolling to my side and touching his arm. “We’re all tired. Let’s try to get some sleep. Things always look different in the light of day.”
He found my hand under the blankets, brought it to his chest, and sighed. “Then it’s good the morning will be here before we know it.”
I scooted closer, and he opened his arm so I could rest my head on his shoulder. His skin was warm, his chest rising and falling beneath my cheek in a rhythm I let myself match.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air between us was quiet, the kind that came after a storm, when the dust was still settling and no one quite knew what the daylight would show.
Caleb pressed his lips to my hair and whispered, almost too low to hear, “Stay close to me tonight, Alice.”
“I wasn’t planning on moving at all,” I murmured back, curling tighter into his side.
His grip around me tightened, and finally, with his heartbeat slowing under my ear, I let my eyes close.
Jesse was far more resilient than either of us. By morning, he’d bounced back like nothing ever happened. We had breakfast together, then he was off to go fishing with his grandfather, barely looking back as he ran out the door.
It was plain as day what had happened was weighing heavily on Caleb. He was quiet, even for him, moving around his house like he was underwater. The show he put on for Jesse was almost convincing, but as soon as Jesse was gone, the light behind Caleb’s eyes snuffed out.
“When you’re ready, I’ll drive you home,” he said as I finished washing the breakfast dishes.
I put down the last plate I’d been drying and turned to him, my back against the counter. “I’m in no hurry to leave. I still have the clothes your mom let me borrow here. I don’t need anything from my house.”
He shuffled his socked foot and gazed toward the window behind the sink. “I’ve got a lot to do around the ranch. Chores I’ve been putting off. If you stay, you’ll be sitting here by yourself. It’s better you go home.”
My stomach sank like a thousand-pound stone, but I tried one more time. “You don’t need a nail holder? You put me to work before. I think I did a pretty good job.”
He turned to face me, a trace of a smile curving his lips. “Not today, darlin’.”
“Well, I’ll hang out here. I don’t mind.”
“I’ll feel bad, thinking about you here by yourself.” He cocked his head toward the door. “I’m gonna put my boots on and head outside. Meet me out there when you’re ready to go.”
He walked right out of the house without another word, and I was utterly breathless. What was happening? He had never once sent me home, and when he left my house, it was only after coming back two or three times for another kiss and promise to see me soon.
Still, I knew he was upset, and he might’ve needed time to work through it. The ranch was in his blood and bones, so maybe sinking his fingers into the dirt would bring him some solace. This didn’t have to mean things were going awry between us. I could give him space.
I just wished walking out to his truck in last night’s dress and a pair of flip-flops didn’t feel so final.
But logic gave me a nudge, whispering that was my history telling me stories that weren’t true. I reminded myself of that when Caleb closed the passenger door without kissing me first, and again when he pulled away from the ranch without checking that I was buckled up like he always did. He had a lot on his mind. None of these jarring changes had to mean something bad.
But the silence filled every corner of the cab until it pressed against my ribs. Caleb kept his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, the other resting loose on his thigh. Normally, he would’ve threaded his fingers through mine, but today, my hand lay empty in my lap.
The miles between the ranch and my house had never felt longer. With each one, the knot in my stomach cinched tighter,an old familiar ache blooming around it. That terrible fear of only being visible when I was useful, forgettable when I wasn’t.
When he pulled up to my curb, the engine ticked as it idled. Caleb didn’t kick me out of the truck, but he also didn’t yank me across the cab to kiss me stupid like he’d done the last time we were in this position.
Give him space. Make it simple for him.
“What if I come back when you’re done with your chores, and I cook dinner for you and Jesse?” I asked. “He really liked the pasta I made last time. I think I have all the ingredients. It would be easy to whip up.”
