Page 47 of As Many Souls as Stars
Miriamdidwant it. Holding an object once so important to Cybil could be the last thing needed to make Esther’s memories return—and besides, even though Miriam couldn’t use the spells inside, Esther might be able to. Miriam still wasn’t particularly concerned about the curse, but there was no way she could risk Esther’s wriggling out of the deal.
Miriam said, ‘If the grimoire were all I wanted, I wouldn’t be in this carriage in the first place. No—I watched Thomas, trying to divine the location of the grimoire, and I discovered he knew of your powers, your curse. Now he is preparing some sort of ritual. He must be dealt with, before he attempts to complete it.’
Esther seemed sceptical. ‘What sort of ritual?’
‘Well—I’m not sure, yet.’
‘He has powers, too?’
‘No. I doubt he’s managed to work any magic successfully.’
‘So what issue is there?’
‘Even without real power, many rituals involve violence, or even murder. He isunhinged, Esther. I have no doubt he’s willing to kill you if he deems it necessary.’
Esther said, ‘We’ve known each other since we were children. He wouldn’t hurt me.’
‘How can you be so certain?’
‘Because—because I have to be.’ She rubbed her forehead with the heel of her hand, suddenly weary. ‘Isaac and I have nowhere else to go. My brother and my cousin are my only true family remaining. And if Thomas is angry at me, because of my curse—if he blames me for what happened to Lily, then… perhaps I deserve his anger.’
Miriam resisted the urge to gnash her teeth, to tear the carriage door from its hinges. ‘You can’t possibly believe you deservedeath.’
‘I don’t want to die, Miss Richter, but I’ve long been resigned to the possibility. It’s odd, I…’ Esther turned her face to the carriage window. The light of the setting sun gilded the tip of her nose; then they passed by a tree, and it was brushed away by the shadows. ‘I have often felt as if I am living on borrowed time.’
‘You don’t understand.’
Their eyes met. ‘What don’t I understand?’
That your life ismineto take. Your death ismineto give.
Miriam said nothing.
Esther sighed. ‘How did you watch him?’
‘What?’
‘Thomas. You said you “watched” him. How?’
‘In shadows,’ Miriam said. ‘With the use of magic it is possible to make yourself immaterial—invisible to others.’
Invigorated, Esther leaned forward. ‘Truly? Can you teach me how to do that? And other magic, too, like what you did at the fete. Calling the lightning.’
Miriam wavered. It was a dangerous proposition: the more powerful Esther became, the more likely she was to remember her time as Cybil.
‘I do not know what Thomas is planning,’ Esther said, ‘but surely, if I could use my magic better, I’d be better placed to defend myself from it.’
Miriam shook her head. ‘You don’t truly need me to teach you. Magic is a simple trade: light for darkness.’
‘What? What does that mean?’
‘If you offer the shadows enough of your soul, they will do anything you wish them to.’
‘That’s what the pain was?’ Esther asked incredulously. ‘I’ve beenfeedingmyself to them?’
Miriam shrugged. ‘Your soul is strong enough to withstand a good number of deals, Esther. These tiny miracles you make—it would take a thousand, ahundredthousand of these to deplete your power entirely. For most people, however, even one such pact could kill them.’
‘But we are not most people,’ Esther clarified. ‘You and I.’
