Page 28 of The Wild Card
Lately, I’ve been slacking with my workouts because my own gym is no longer a happy or safe place. Too many stares. Too many rumors. Too much makes me think of Liza.
Meanwhile, I’m not sure what Tank has been doing, but he looks almost as good as he did when he was in his prime, playing pro ball.
It’s really not fair. Though I guess I should just be happy I have a healthy dose of his genes.
Tank is silent as he drives out of downtown and past the festival grounds, which are starting to clear out as the day wanes.
Sitting in silence with my dad behind the wheel brings back long-ago memories of middle and high school. Whenever one of us got in trouble, Dad would take us for a drive. I think both because it meant having a captive audience but also because in a car, you don’t have to make eye contact. Talking is always easier when you can stare out at the road rather than directly into someone’s face.
So is confessing.
The longer Tank would drive in silence, the more likely we were to admit to something we’d done. I’m convinced now that half the time he onlysuspectedwe’d done something and he used the drive to scare us into admitting it.
I don’t say a word now.
Neither does Tank, and his silence isloud. When I reach over to turn on the radio, the look he gives me has me tucking my hands back in my lap.
He doesn’t know you lied to Jo,I remind myself.He probably doesn’t know what to think.
Though I’m sure Dad is wondering how, exactly, I would have gotten a girlfriend today. Especially considering who Molly is to our family. After the relationship I just got out of, none of my family would believe I hopped into a new one without warning or preamble.
When Dad pulls off the main road a few miles past the festival grounds and up a narrow gravel road, I start to getnervous. It’s all I can do not to bite my nails, a habit I broke years ago.
This ride in every way is giving me childhood déjà vu. It’s also giving me true-crime documentary vibes.
Tank parks the truck in the middle of the narrow road between two fields. Nothing for miles but me, Dad, and some lazy cows. They’re black with a white band around the middle and make me think of Oreos.
Glancing over at me, Tank asks, “You ready?”
“Depends. What are we doing out here in the middle of what looks to be a cow pasture?”
Tank opens the car door. “Take a walk with me, son.”
Again, it’s more command than request.
Warily, I join him, our respective cowboy boots crunching over the gravel as we make our way to the weathered fence. A few grasshoppers hurtle out of the way, and over the distant tree line, the sun is starting its lazy slide, though we’re still an hour or two from evening. The light is a little gentler now, the heat more bearable.
When Tank leans on the top rail of the fence, I do the same. He looks out over the fields, but I’m watching his face, waiting for the lecture.
After a long few moments, he gestures past the fence and says, “Well, what do you think?”
“About … this field?”
“Yes.”
I look out over what’s probably twenty or so acres of pasture. Maybe more? I’m not usually guesstimating acreages. A cow returns my gaze. It shouldn’t make me more uncomfortable but somehow, the bovine’s dead-eyed stare is too much when I’m still waiting for my dad to reveal why he’s brought me to the type of location perfect for burying a body.
I scratch the back of my neck, wondering how long it’s been since I got my hair trimmed. Too long by the feel of the unruly strands. The cow seems to agree, his big stupid face broadcasting hair judgment as he chews.
“It’s, ah, nice? Peaceful,” I add. “The wordbucoliccomes to mind.”
Tank chuckles. “You always did have an extensive vocabulary. Second only to Pat.”
Of course. One more event where I walk away with silver instead of gold in the brother Olympics. I don’t even get to win at wordplay.
“Would you mind telling me why we’re out here discussing this field and my extensive vocabulary?”
Tank’s quiet, scanning the field again like he’s looking for something. A particular cow or maybe a pot of gold underneath the stretch of muted rainbow sky.
