Page 120 of If All Else Sails
“Overrated,” Van says. “Normal is overrated.”
I think of my steady job, the only surprise being which kidsmight pop into my office with real—or fake—a?ictions. My apartment. My friendship with Toni. There’s always been a comfort in the quietness of my life. It’s easy. Safe.
Now it feels like not enough and, at the same time, like a cocoon of protection I can’t wait to return to.
“Why all the questions?” Eli asks. “Are you and Wyatt...?” He trails off, the question in his voice echoing in his blue eyes.
“Something,” Van finishes. “Are yousomething?” The arch of his dark brow seems to indicate he knows the answer. Or thinks he does.
“I don’t know,” is the best I can do.
“There’s definitely a vibe,” Van says.
“Is there?” I ask weakly. I thought Wyatt and I had done a pretty good job pretending to be normal. And not dancing on a cliff’s edge the way we have been.
“It’s the way he looks at you,” Eli says. “Like you’re all he sees.”
“Or wants to see,” Van agrees.
Eli bumps my shoulder lightly with his. I’m surprised to find I’m comfortable enough with him that I don’t mind the contact. “You couldn’t ask for a better guy.”
“Though you could ask for a less grumpy one,” Van adds, and he and Eli both laugh at this.
“So...yeah?” Van says hopefully. “You and our boy?”
It’s a great question. One I can’t even answer for myself, much less Wyatt’s friends.
I think of our quiet, mundane conversations about our travel plans every morning. Of the bossy yet confident way Wyatt orders me around when things get hairy on the boat. Of our lingering conversations, lingering looks, lingering good nights as we retreat to our own cabins.
Idoknow. But as for Wyatt...
Reflecting on all our exchanges over the years, these weeks with him have been an exception. Not the rule. There’s no wayheknew.
When Wyatt goes back to his normal life, he might blink at this little blip of time and wonder what he was thinking. It’s almost like I’ve been with an alternative version of him—the fever version on a grander scale. Injury and vacation Wyatt. Not normal Wyatt.
So even though I can relate to what Van and Eli said about knowing, I don’t think this isthat. Not for Wyatt, anyway.
Or am I doing what Toni accused me of—running when someone gets close?
“Ugh, I’m burning.” Jacob’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts. He and Wyatt have ambled over, and my brother has his head angled, trying to look at his back. Which is definitely pink.
I jump to my feet, brushing sand off my legs and avoiding Wyatt’s laser-like gaze. “I told you to wear sunscreen.”
“I did!”
“You used tanning oil with an SPF of eight,” I tell him. “That’s not sunscreen. You’re roasting like a turkey. Should we get out of the sun?”
“We actually need to head back to the hotel so we can shower,” Jacob says, glancing at his watch, an expensive one I’m surprised is waterproof. “We’ve got flights to catch. I promised these guys I wouldn’t keep them long from their wives.”
“You’re leaving today?”
If I sound panicked, it’s because I am. The idea of being alone again with Wyatt should in no way freak me out. But spending time with my brother and Wyatt’s hockey friends has left me feeling more uncertain. I’m shaken for reasons I can’t quite pinpoint.
You’re running, Toni’s persistent voice accuses.
And I’m starting to believe she’s right.
Jacob gives me an extra-long hug on deck while Wyatt says goodbye to his former teammates.
