Page 20 of His Pretty Little Lies
I nod. "Why do you find this hard to believe?"
"You're you, and well, I'm me." That doesn't explain much, and Kinsley knows it because her brows furrow at her own words. "I'm plain and boring."
"Where the fuck did you come up with that bullshit?"
"I'm not saying I'm ugly." Kinsley props her ass up against my desk. “Just that I’m nothing special. Just ordinary.” I didn’t think Kinsley could get more attractive, but the fact that she doesn’t know how gorgeous she is makes her all the more so.
“You’ve lost your fucking mind if you believe that, Kinsley.” I make a vow to myself at this moment that I will do whatever it takes to make her see herself the way I do. Hell, the way every single warm-blooded male does.
“You’re being nice.” She shrugs one of her shoulders.
“Never been accused of that before.” I wink at her, getting up from the chair I’d dropped into over in the lounge area of my bedroom, which has a couple of chairs and a TV hung over a fireplace.
I was trying to keep space between us so that I could control myself from touching her. I walk over to my bed, dropping down onto it so my back is resting against the headboard. I kick my legs out, getting comfortable for this next part.
“When I masturbate.”
“Masturbate!” Kinsley’s eyes go wide, her cheeks turning redder than they already were.
“That’s what I said.” She opens and then closes her mouth. “You get to think about anything you want.” I keep my eyes locked on hers. “All my fantasies I have right in this bed are about you, Bunny. Every one of them.”
“Jax,” she whispers my name loudly. “What are you doing?”
“Just telling you that you’re a knockout and you’re the only one I fuck my hand and think about.” I pat the bed. “Right here.”
“Oh, my God.” She covers her face with her hands.
“Every night.”
“Jax!” Kinsley snaps, dropping her hands. “Stop trying to embarrass me.”
“I’m the one admitting my fantasies. You want details?”
“No!” She glances down at her feet.
“Liar.” I'm not telling her this because it’s true, which it is. I'm telling her because guilt gnaws at me. I have kept horny assholes away from her. That was my doing. I hate that I might have added to the thought she has of herself that she's ordinary.
“We should talk about something else.” Kinsley licks her lips.
“If you want, but I’m starting to see that my choices aren’t what I thought they would be.” I run my hand across the top of my skull.
“What do you mean?” Again, she licks her lips. Is this turning her on? Thinking about me rubbing one out to her every night? If I flipped up that skirt of hers, would she be wet for me? Fuck. I’d die to bury my face there right now.
"I am an asshole," I admit. "When it comes to what I want, I can be a dick."
"Okay." Her brows pull together, not following me.
"If you think you're average or whatever bullshit you just said, it's because you don't get asked out on dates; that’s due to me." Her expression turns to pure confusion. “I’m both sorry and not sorry at the same time.” This time it’s me who shrugs my shoulders. I refuse to lie to her.
“I’m not following, Jax. What the heck does people not asking me out on dates have to do with you?” As soon as the words leave her mouth, I can see the lightbulb go off. Her beautiful brown eyes widen as she comes to the conclusion that I’ve kept the boys at school at bay. Well, if I’m being honest, not just the ones at school. “How?”
“I think you know the answer to that, Bunny. But if you want me to elaborate, let's just say by any means necessary. One of the positives of being a Marino and my family's reputation.” Iswear I see a small smile touch Kinsley’s lips before she masks it. Which gives me a huge sense of relief and tells me all I need to know. She likes the level of obsession I have with her.
“You know that’s so messed up, right?”
“Told you I can be a dick when it comes to what I want.”
“And you want me and don’t share?” She rolls her eyes, shaking her head at the same time.
