Page 16 of His Pretty Little Lies
“I know right now you have no reason to trust me. I get that. I want to try and fix it.”
“Then, you could start by taking me home.” The nervous hitch has left her tone. It will be a whole lot easier to get her onto the farm if she wants to be there. So I make another play.
“There is about to be a missing persons story that is going to flood the halls of Golden Prep.” Kinsley sits quietly, and I know she’s thinking this over.
“I’m not a cop, though I report the news, and they need to be informed that she is dead.” She appeared dead to me, but I didn’t have the chance to check. You never know.
“They’ll know.” Which means I’m going to have to speak with my father and uncles. They’re going to be pissed. I’m not sure there is a way around it.
“Okay then,” Kinsley speaks again, slightly turning her body toward me. I’m sure to try and read my body language. “The first place I’d start is the building. It’s owned by the Marino family; I’m guessing they’re not going to like me asking questions.”
“Ask away,” I offer. "I want to know what happened, too, Kinsley." It happened in one of our warehouses. People know better.
"Why? Because it could blow back on you?"
"Is that what you think?" Is that how she sees us? That we don't give a shit who dies and lives as long as it doesn't come down on us? I suppose to a degree that is correct. Who would want that shit to come down on them? You protect you and your own first, then you see what else can be done or if anything should be. We own the streets in this city.
"I don't know what to think, honestly, Jax. Today has been strange, and it doesn't help that my strange day started with you, and then you led me to that warehouse," she points out.
"You think I'm trying to frame you?" When I mentally cataloged all the things that Kinsley might be thinking, I realized that had been present but not at the top of my list. I see now that's because of my own bias. I didn't want to believe she'd think that.
“You tell me.” Kinsley leans closer, a small tell that she’s not as scared of me as she might be trying to portray or that a deeper part of her knows I won’t hurt her. Ever.
“I knew I fucked up before you made it to the warehouse, but I was going to be honest with you.”
“That’s why you were saying sorry but were still mad at me?” She throws her hands up, and her cheeks start to flush.
“I've had a thing for you since you got to Golden Prep three years ago,” I tell her as I roll to a stop at the red light.
Might as well get it out there because I’m over hiding this. Waiting for my time to have her because I knew once I let myself get close to her, there would be no going back. Even now, I’m struggling with the idea of her laying her head down somewhere tonight that I’m not next to.
“No, you haven’t.” Kinsley shakes her head adamantly.
“I have, and if you really consider it, you’ll see it too.”
I wasn’t always the most subtle. I might not have been talking to her all the time, but I was always there. Never far from Kinsley. My locker is next to hers, and we share almost all the same classes. I could list off other things I have done to be closer to her that she doesn’t know I’m behind.
“You stare, but you have that intense stare all the time.” Yeah, it wasn’t easy not to stare, so I stopped trying. If I couldn’t touch, I sure as fuck was going to watch.
“Have you ever thought it wasn’t that I had it all the time? That it was you I was staring so hard at?”
“Really?” She tilts her head, making one of her braids fall off her shoulder. “Then why have you been waiting all these years?” I have been asking myself that question all fucking day.
“People are scared of us.” I was grappling with it too. It had hit me hard the first time I’d seen her. I didn’t know how to handle it. I still don’t, obviously. Since it’s only been one day, and I’ve fucked it up.
“You know, I never thought about that. No matter what, you have a scarlet letter to a degree. People label you before you open your mouth.”
“You’re not wrong.” Everywhere I go, my family's perceived reputation precedes me. Sometimes for good and others not so much. I don’t want her to ever be scared of me.
“Obviously,” she cuts in, fighting a smile.
“The thing is, I never cared.” I glance toward her again. I never considered how hard it would be to drive with her in the car when all I want to do is stare at her. “Until you.”
Chapter Ten
KINSLEY
This is so not the time to melt into a girl crush over what Jax is telling me. I so badly want to believe it, but I could be a sucker right now, buying up everything he is selling.
