Page 175 of If You Claim Me
I’m sorry.
I love you.
I miss you.
I finger the delicate beads, my chest aching even as small pieces of my heart start to mend. “I want the best of you, Connor. I see everything you have to give.” The way he’s been showing up for the people he cares about, being there for Everly at Ariel’s birth, standing up to his father tonight, finding a way to make things better instead of giving in to the worst side of himself—those are acts of selflessness, and that’s the man I fell for. “I just wantyou. But you have to give me all of you, not just pieces. And not just sometimes.”
He rubs the back of his neck and drops his head. “I didn’t want you to see all the bad parts.”
“There are no bad parts.” I move closer and tuck a finger under his chin so his steel eyes meet mine. He’s so forlorn. The fallen prince, used to being told he’s not good enough. “But I deserve the man who gives because it’s the right thing to do, and who will do anything to make the people he loves happy, because it makes you happy too. That’s who I fell in love with.”
He curves his fingers around mine. “I want to be the man you play board games with, who reads to you while you’re in the tub, who you wake up beside every day, and spend your holidays with. I just want the chance to show you I can be the husband and partner you deserve.”
I want this. I want him. I want the life I saw unfolding before fear got in the way. But I’m going to be cautious.
“Why don’t we start with a date?”
CHAPTER 51
CONNOR
I’ve come full circle as I knock on my wife’s apartment door—the one I made hers as a wedding gift. I’m hoping to move her back home sooner rather than later, but first...
The door opens, and my aching heart feels suddenly whole again. Mildred is wearing jeans and a T-shirt—I told her we were going casual tonight—her hair hangs loose around her shoulders, and I can see my reflection in her glasses. I look like the love-sick fool I am.
I rub the back of my neck because I don’t know what else to do with my hands. “Hey.”
She smiles up at me, warm and welcoming and perfect. “Hi. Want to come in for a minute?” She steps back, giving me room to enter her apartment. “I just need to feed Dewey, and then we can go.”
“Can I hug you first?” I ask.
Her expression softens. “Yeah. I’d love that.”
She opens her arms and steps forward. I wrap my arms around her and drop my head, nosing my way through her hair so I can get to her neck. “I’ve missed you.” Her strawberry-and-vanilla scent blankets me in a wave of hope and comfort.
She runs a soothing hand down my back. “I’ve missed you, too.”
All the broken parts of me seem to mend with her closeness and that admission.
Eventually she releases me, and I follow her to Dewey’s enclosure. “Can I say hi to him, too?”
“Of course.” She carefully retrieves him—this cage is much smaller than the one still at the manor—and our fingers brush as she passes him to me.
“It’s been hard to sleep without the sound of him rustling around,” I admit as I rub his belly.
“Once you get used to it, it’s tough to get unused to.” Mildred nods and scratches the top of his head.
He makes his snuffling sound and starts crawling up my chest while Mildred prepares him a snack of fresh fruit and mealworms.
“It’s been hard to sleep withoutyounext to me,” I add.
She nods and smiles. “It’s been the same for me.”
Hopefully, if today goes well, the restlessness will end for both of us.
My gaze catches on the paperwork scattered across the kitchen table. “You aren’t still working on program proposals, are you?”
“No.” She sets the food in Dewey’s cage. “I moved forward with my foster parent application.”
