Page 168 of If You Claim Me
I leave his office and head down the hall to Lexi’s. My palms are sweaty by the time I knock on her open door.
She looks up from her computer screen, but doesn’t speak.
“Can I talk to you?”
She motions to the chair across from her.
“As Lexi and not my coach,” I clarify.
She nods.
I cross the room and take the offered seat. “Have you talked to Mildred?”
“Yes.”
“How is she?”
She crosses her arms. “How do you think she is?”
I drop my head, focusing on my wedding band. “I really messed this up.”
“In full Connor form, you absolutely did.” Lexi rubs her belly. “What is it that you’re trying to ask?”
“I don’t know. I just…I want to know if she’s okay.”
“Are you okay?”
“No.”
“Then what would make you think she is?” She shifts in her chair, like she’s struggling to get comfortable. She’s due soon, so I imagine there isn’t a whole lot of room left for that kid or her internal organs. “You can’t mine me for information about Dred,” she says after a moment. “She is my best friend, and I have to protect her and keep her confidence. I’m in a unique position in that I know the details of your arrangement. I also know that the parameters changed drastically over the past several months. You had choices, Connor, ones that could have had a very different result. I think you need to ask yourself why you chose to hurt someone you love in this way, instead of being honest about your feelings.” The furrow in her brow deepens, and she holds up a hand.
I jump out of my chair. “Areyouokay?”
“Yeah, I just…I had Braxton Hicks earlier in the week. It’s probably the same thing again.”
“Shit. I’m stressing you out.”
She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I’m just really pregnant.”
“Why don’t I drive you home?”
She grimaces and rubs her belly.
“Please, Lexi. Let me do this for you.”
“Yeah, okay. That would be good.” She pushes herself to standing. “Let me just get my stuff together.”
I help Lexi with her things and walk her to the elevator. I’m struck by the fact that these people who love Mildred and have her best interest at heart aren’t shutting me out the way I did her. And they’re also not pouncing on my weakness the way myfather would. Instead they’re reaching to pull me out of the hole I dug. And doesn’t that tell me everything I need to know about the woman I married? She is loved and beloved, and she and everyone around her want to show me I can be too. This is a once-in-a-lifetime gift, and it’s my turn to step up and prove that I deserve it.
When the elevator arrives at our floor, Romero and Ryker step out.
“Everything okay?” Romero asks, putting his hand over the sensor to keep the doors from closing.
“Yeah, just Braxton Hicks.” Lexi rubs her belly like she’s trying to make a genie appear. “Connor’s driving me home.”
“You want one of us to follow in your car?” Romero offers.
“It’s fine. I’ll come back and get it once Lexi is settled, but thanks.” I follow Lexi into the elevator.
