Page 107 of If You Claim Me
“Kodiak and Quinn are good guys,” Connor agrees. “So are Tristan and Dallas, but they mostly sided with Flip because he’s Flip.” He sighs. “He’s always loved. Even when he does shitty things. And I get it, because he’s a good guy. He came from a tough beginning. He fought to be here harder than most. And being the son of a billionaire put me at a disadvantage at the Hockey Academy.”
“Because the program is highly subsidized,” I say.
“That’s right. My parents could have sent me to the other hockey program I’d been accepted to overseas, but they chose the Hockey Academy instead. They wanted me to understand my place in the world. People believed I’d bought my spot in the program, so I worked hard to prove I hadn’t. But I had a huge chip on my shoulder, and let’s be real, I’m entitled as fuck.”
“It’s hard not to be when you have a literal staff of people taking care of everything for you,” I reply.
“What my parents failed to consider is that I’m used to being on the outside. The Hockey Academy wasn’t any different for me. I wasn’t afraid of losing status, because the only status I had was the result of a family I didn’t fit into anyway.”
He pauses a moment and then shrugs. “When I made the pros I wanted to know what it was like to be normal. I lived in an apartment and figured out how to cook food and do my own laundry. The ultimatum had been set for me. If I didn’t join the family business, my dad would cut me out of the will, and then where would I be? So I went to the Hockey Academy, and I let myself be put in another box. But I played my ass off, and I played the role I thought I deserved. And I hated that I hated Flip because I was jealous.”
“Because he came from nothing, and everyone loved him.” Of course they hated each other.
“He didn’t know what it was like on the other side,” Connor explains. “He didn’t have a clue what it felt like to want for nothing, because he wanted for everything. But he had the one thingI wanted—everyone’s acceptance. People gravitated to him. He saw the good in everyone. And I wanted to be him.”
He shakes his head. “I thought for sure he’d lose his shit over you and me, and he just…proved he’s a stand-up guy.” Connor’s jaw flexes, and he gives me a sidelong glance. “And here I am, acting the hero by offering you financial security so my grandmother doesn’t have to worry about me ending up bitter, angry, and alone. Which is exactly what will happen eventually, just thankfully not while she’s alive to see it.”
“But you’re not alone, Connor,” I argue. “You have a whole team who will be the family you choose instead of the one you were born into, if you let them. And what about Quinn? He’s a real friend outside of hockey. He stood up for you at your wedding.”
“He gets me in a way most of the other guys don’t,” Connor agrees.
“Why? What’s different about him?” There’s something about Quinn. He has an edge to him.
“He feels…cursed.”
“Cursed how?”
“He’s named after his uncle.”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“His dad watched him die when they were kids.”
“Oh my gosh. What happened?”
“They were jumped by a bunch of kids on the way home from school. Quinn’s dad, Lance, survived, but his uncle didn’t. His entire family fell apart, and Lance moved to the States to live with his aunt. He found hockey, and the rest is history.”
“That would have been devastating.”
“I’m sure it was. But Quinn’s name is a weight he carries, and his dad’s career was a strong one. Quinn finally gets his chance in the pros, but now he has the legacy to live up to.”
It seems everyone has a history, dark secrets they carry with them. “It’s the same for Kodiak, too, though, right?”
“Yes and no. Kodiak is a better player than his dad. He’s in aleague of his own. Quinn is just starting. He’s fighting to keep his spot. He feels like he has to prove that it isn’t his father’s legacy that brought him here. He’s terrified that he isn’t good enough.”
“And you?” I ask. “What are you terrified of?”
“Becoming like my parents.”
“Seems pretty unlikely.”
“I don’t know about that. They’re not married to each other because they like each other.”
“They’re together because they wanted to make their Meems happy?” I say cheekily.
He snorts.
“Then I stand by my original assertion that it seems unlikely you’ll end up like your parents. Probably as unlikely as it is for me to end up like mine.”
