Page 84 of Rebel Heart
Then I got a taste of my very favorite thing.
Thump.Thump. Thump.
I thought it was seeing the positive pregnancy test a couple of weeks ago that did it for me.
Then I thought it was watching the way Jules wrestled with her emotions ever since then.
Eventually, I believed it was the exhaustion that took over her every night after she put in a long day at work.
Yesterday, I felt it was getting married and spending my first night at home with my wife that did it.
And finally, I was confident it was arriving at this doctor’s office today.
But it hadn’t been any of that.
It was the sound that was currently filling the air around us.
The rapid beat of my baby’s heart is what did it. That precious sound solidified this new reality for me.
I was going to be a dad.
Something took hold of me as that quick, steady beat thrummed through the room like a song.
Seated beside the table where she was on her back, I held Jules’ hand in mine. Tears had spilled from her eyesand down into her hair. I squeezed her hand, and when she rolled her head along the pillow, tearing her eyes away from the monitor to look at me, she rasped, “That’s our baby.”
I nodded, feeling a thickness in my throat. “That’s our baby.”
It was easily the most surreal moment of my life, and I was suddenly seeing Jules in this new light. She was growing life inside her. She was growing and protecting and nurturing our baby. The warmth and affection that spread through my body for her were immense.
The sound stopped, and a few beats later, the sonographer said, “Okay, so I think I’ve gotten all of your measurements here. Just sit tight for a few minutes, and your doctor will be in to go over everything with you.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
She left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Jules and me alone with one another. “Are you alright?”
“I am. I’m just… This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever done. Are you okay?”
I kissed the back of her hand. “I’m better than I ever thought possible. I thought yesterday was the best day of my life. And to that point, it was. It’s still there. But this is… This is beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I didn’t know it would feel like this.”
Jules let go of my hand and touched the side of my face. “I’m so glad you’re here and that we’re doing this together.”
I leaned into her touch, couldn’t pull myself away if I tried. “I wouldn’t have wanted to miss this for anything.”
No sooner had I gotten those words out, a knock came at the door before it opened. “Hello.”
“Hi, Doc,” Jules said. “Is everything okay with the baby?”
The doctor smiled and nodded. “Everything looks fantastic. The baby is measuring right on schedule, and the heartbeat looks good. If everything progresses as it is, I suspect your family will be growing by one come next February.”
“February?”
“Yes. It looks like the current due date is February 2nd.” The doctor glanced down at the computer in front of her. “I don’t see any notes in here from the nurse you saw when you first came in. Do you have any questions for me? With this being your first pregnancy, I want to make sure I address any concerns you have.”
Jules and I exchanged glances before she focused on the doctor and said, “I don’t think so. I mean, I read up on the symptoms I’m currently experiencing, which is mostly just wanting to sleep all the time, and I saw that it was normal.”
“Yes. That should start subsiding for you here very shortly. As you progress with this pregnancy, you’ll feel your normal energy levels return. Anything else?”
Jules shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
