Page 66 of Rebel Heart
Jules swiped at a rogue tear that had escaped and rolled down her cheek. “You have no idea how many weeks I spent wondering why you would give up achance at happiness, especially if you felt even half of the chemistry between us that I did. And now you’re here, telling me all of this, and it’s all I’ve wanted to hear from the beginning.”
I took both of her hands in mine and turned fully to face her. “I know it’s late. I know I hurt you before. But I’m here now, and I’m promising to try to be better. I just need you to give me that chance. Please.”
Until I was sitting here in front of her, I hadn’t imagined the possibility of this not going the way I’d hoped. In my mind, this was what Jules had wanted from the beginning, so there’d be no chance she’d turn me down. But perhaps I’d been far too confident.
She inhaled deeply and blew out a long breath. “Beau, there’s nothing I want more than to say yes to us having this chance. But I have to be honest with you.”
“Of course. You can tell me anything.”
Jules swallowed roughly, such uneasiness marring her features. “You say you want me and that you want to be with me, but you might change your mind after I tell you why I was here waiting for you when you got back today.”
Suddenly, it was my turn to grow alarmed. I kept her hands in mine, but I pulled my head back and eyed her curiously. I had assumed she was here because she knew I was coming home today, and she wanted to surprise me.
But now that I thought about it, I recalled the conversation we’d had last night. She’d asked what time I expected I’d be home today. It seemed casual enough yesterday, but now I wasn’t so sure.
What could she possibly tell me that would make me change my mind about being with her?
Confused as ever, feeling like I was on the edge of my seat, I asked, “Well, what is it?”
She hesitated. One, two, three beats.
Then Jules parted her lips and spoke, turning my world upside down as she did.
“I’m pregnant.”
17
JULES
I wanted to be understanding.To show some compassion.
I tried to recall the thoughts, fears, and worries that went through my head a week ago and over the days since, leading up to this moment.
There hadn’t been any emotion I hadn’t experienced, so I suspected it was very much the same for Beau at this precise moment.
But while logic made it possible for me to draw that conclusion, my heart was in pieces.
This was brutal.
Being on this side of it, sharing the news with him, and having no idea what he was thinking was akin to torture. All I wanted, all I desperately needed, since the day I found out I was pregnant was to be wrapped in his arms while he whispered words of encouragement in my ear. I’d fantasized about that over the last week, too.
Anything.
I’d take anything he could give to reassure me that everything was going to be okay.
But it seemed Beau was struggling. Rightfully so, if I was honest. I didn’t want to be unreasonable about it. He had the right to take some time to figure out how he felt about something as unexpected and unplanned as this. I’d sat on my bathroom floor for longer than I now thought was reasonable. Beau deserved to have the same time to come to grips with it, if he could manage that at all.
All it took was just two words.
With just two words, I’d changed everything. And the worst part was that I knew it was going to happen the moment they slipped past my lips. I’d agonized over doing this for the last week, confident it wouldn’t go over well. But no matter what damage it would do to the very fragile relationship that Beau and I had been trying to repair since just before he left for his demo tour, I had to give him the truth.
Even if it now meant I wouldn’t get to have him the way I wanted, the way he seemed to want me, too.
I wanted to cry harder at the irony of it all.
The moment the man who didn’t believe in love realized he might want to try to go after it, to see if it existed, he gets the shock of a lifetime and learns he’s going to become a dad.
I didn’t know how much time had passed. I wasn’t one of those people who could look up at the position of the sun in the sky and just know what time it was. But I suspected Beau and I had sat there in silence forno less than ten minutes as he digested the life-changing news.
