Page 30 of Rebel Heart
I wondered, though, if what I’d done—and what I was now continuing to do—made me an awful person, especially considering I had no intention of having this turn into a long-term serious relationship.
As much as I wanted to believe otherwise, I wasn’t a fool. I didn’t think Jules was the kind of woman who hadn’t ever had men approach her. I had to be honest with myself and admit that she’d probably had that one horrible experience and never had the desire to do it again. At least not until she felt comfortable, safe, and like she was with someone she believed she could trust. I found it difficult to believe that Jules would’ve chosen to take that step with anyone if she didn’t think there was something to build upon, too. How she believed that person was me, I did not know.
And I hated that I hadn’t been honest with her about it from the start. If I was a better man, I would’ve come right out and told her the truth the moment I realized we had different goals and values. But seeing that vulnerability with her as she told me about her only other experience,I couldn’t make the one she had with me a bad one, too.
Now, I was stuck.
Because we got along great. The chemistry between us was amazing. I liked being around her, and it appeared she felt the same about me. But I couldn’t allow this to go on for much longer without telling her the truth. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it easy.
I’d shown up at her place tonight, fully prepared to give her that truth. On my way over, I’d ordered a pizza for delivery and arrived before it had. My plan had been to discuss it with her while we had dinner together. But when I walked in and she wasn’t wearing anything but a pair of panties and a T-shirt as she propelled herself into my arms and kissed me, all my plans flew out the window. We spent the next five minutes kissing one another and getting reacquainted until we were interrupted by the pizza delivery.
Jules had decided she wanted to eat in her bed and watch television over dinner. Knowing what I needed to discuss with her, I should’ve declined. It was far too easy to get distracted by her sweet little body as it was. Adding a bed to the mix was only going to result in creating more torture for myself.
Apparently, I was a masochist, because here I was, with my back against the headboard, my arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Jules tucked close to me. We’d just finished eating, and before I had the opportunity to say what I needed to, Jules had decided to ask me about teaching.
“Well, teaching isn’t something I normally do,” I admitted. “But if you want to learn how to skate, I don’t have a problem teaching you. That’s completely different than doing something like offering lessons as a service.”
Her face lit up with a smile, and her tone was amused when she said, “I wasn’t talking about skating.”
Confused, my brows knit together. “You asked about teaching.”
Jules licked her lips. “Yes, I was wondering if you’d be able to teach me something.”
“Like what?”
Keeping herself close, she turned her body toward mine and rested her palm against my chest. “There’s something I’ve been thinking about trying since we did what we did two nights ago, but I’m afraid I don’t know what I’m doing.”
I wasn’t going to draw conclusions about where this was heading. “What do you need help with?”
There was barely a hint of hesitation before she spoke softly. “I was hoping I could use my mouth on you.” Her hand drifted down my torso until it settled on the fly of my jeans. “I want to use it here. Would you like for me to do that?”
This was the absolute worst kind of punishment, because there was not a chance that I could turn her down. Between the desire and want swirling in her beautiful blue eyes, the feel of her hand on me, and the mere thought of having her gorgeous mouth wrapped around my dick, I couldn’t have denied her if I tried.
“I can’t imagine why you think I wouldn’t like it,” I told her.
Uncertainty leaked onto her features. “I might not be very good at it. Or I might do something wrong.”
I lifted my hand to the side of her face, cupped her cheek, and dragged my thumb along her bottom lip. “Well, everything you’ve done so far has been extraordinary. If you keep the teeth in check, I promise that whatever you do will be wonderful. Suction is good. Great, actually. The tip is the most sensitive. The wetter it is, the better. Adding in your hand to stroke is always a bonus. Don’t neglect the balls, and eye contact is a huge plus.”
She nodded slowly, taking it all in. “I think I could do that.”
I smiled at her and drove my fingers back into her hair. “I know you can.”
Jules smiled back and rested her forehead against mine, framing my face with her hands. When her thumbs stroked along my cheeks, I found myself tensing. It was such a sweet and tender thing for her to do, and I didn’t like the message it might have conveyed about what was happening between us.
Fortunately, after pressing a chaste kiss to my lips, Jules began working her way down my torso. She slipped her fingers beneath the hem of my shirt and pushed it up and out of her way. I pulled it over my head and tossed it to the side, my eyes never leaving Jules as she gave herself the opportunity to explore my body with her mouth.
My hand went to her ass, rubbing and squeezing herthere. As she continued to kiss me, I pulled her panties down her thighs. Jules seemed to sense what I wanted and shimmied out of them without losing focus on what she set out to accomplish.
But I barely had a few seconds to take in her bare ass before she shifted herself until her body was positioned between my legs, too far out of reach for me to touch her where I wanted. Evidently, she planned to make this all about me.
Recognizing that, wanting Jules to do this however would make her happy, I allowed myself to relish it.
Her warm, soft hands glided over my ribs and chest before drifting down my abdomen, where her mouth had been lingering. Then she pulled back slightly, looked up at me with her heated stare, and began to work the fly of my jeans with those delicate hands.
Jules kept her eyes locked on mine while she unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans. When her knuckles brushed against my skin, her fingers curling around the waistband of my pants and underwear, the muscles in my abdomen twitched. I lifted my hips to help her, and once everything was off, I watched as she took the time to appreciate the sight of my naked body.
I couldn’t say I didn’t understand it. I’d done the same with her before, and would have been doing the same now if I could have gotten that T-shirt off her before she’d scooted away. “I love that look on your face right now.”
