Page 125 of Rebel Heart
Wending through the paper and boxes and toys scattered all over the floor, the little voices filling the air, I made my way out to the kitchen.
Just before I got there, Ava appeared.
I came to a halt, slid my arms around her, and kissed her cheek.
My wife wrapped her arms around me and directed her attention to everything happening behind us. "Are you sure you’re doing alright, Tate?”
Confused, I asked, “Why wouldn’t I be?”
She swept her hand out to the side to indicate where I’d just journeyed from. “This. The chaos all over the floor.”
Ava knew me too well. Or, perhaps, she knew the way I used to be before everything we’d been through after we got married.
Lifting my hand to the side of her face, I said, “Wild one, have I not made it clear over the last few years that I’m okay with the mess?”
She pressed her cheek into my palm. “Well, you say that, and you have been pretty good about not running around picking up after everyone. But this is a bit extreme.”
I glanced back at the floor.
It was covered with evidence of our Christmas morning as a family of five. Wrapping paper was everywhere. Boxes that had held clothing or toys were ripped up and strewn across the floor. The toys weren’t put away in their proper places.
And at what felt like a lifetime ago, the sight of all of it would have caused a strong reaction from me. I hated messes. I loathed things being out of place.
But that wasn’t how things were anymore.
Because I realized how lucky we were to even experience this. Ava and I had struggled to get here, to makethis family. After more than a year of trying, unsuccessfully, to get pregnant, Ava and I visited her doctor. We went through a bunch of testing and wound up going through a couple of rounds of IUI.
It had been incredibly trying for Ava, and it nearly broke me to see her so devastated by one failed attempt after another. With such turmoil in her home as a teenager, she had always been part of our family. To think that she might not be able to have children of her own, to give them the childhood she didn’t have, was crushing.
But eventually, it happened. And we now had our daughter—Melody—who would turn three next March, and a set of twin boys—Evan and Ryan—who were a year and a half old.
Life was chaotic. And messy. So messy.
Focusing my attention on Ava again, I said, “I love everything about that room right now. That mess is there because we have three beautiful children who had a wonderful Christmas morning. And for someone who loves music as much as you do, I know you love the sounds of their laughter filling this house. I’m okay with the mess, Ava. In fact, I don’t think I could live without it anymore.”
Her lips curved into a beautiful smile, and her eyes sparkled. “I know we have a long day ahead of us with the rest of the family, but you’re going to be handsomely rewarded this evening for what you just said.”
I chuckled. “Well, if I’m getting rewarded for sayingthat, I wonder how giving you another gift this morning is going to make you feel.”
“Another gift? We already exchanged them.”
Shaking my head, my lips twitching, I said, “This one doesn’t need to be opened. It’s actually the reason I was coming to find you.”
“What is it?”
I took Ava by the hand, led her into the family room, and through the mess. A moment later, I had the Christmas music playing on the television as I danced with her around the room, surrounded by our babies.
Ava was beaming at me. “You’re such a good man, Tate. It’s like you’ve never forgotten that this is the one thing I wanted with you since I first had a crush on you at fifteen years old.”
“There isn’t anything that I’ve forgotten about you, wild one. Not a thing.”
“Thank you,” she whispered. “Thank you for giving me this beautiful life.”
After kissing her mouth, I spun her around the room. Melody finally took notice of the dancing and came in our direction. “Daddy! Dance with me!”
Ava didn’t hesitate to step back, so I could lift our girl in my arms and dance around the room with her. Our boys flocked to their mother, and Ava scooped them up. And the five of us spent the next ten minutes dancing to Christmas music in a mess of wrapping paper and toys.
I loved every minute of this wild, crazy life we’d built. And I knew one day, when the children were grown and everything was back in its rightful place, I’d miss thesemoments and be grateful I had these memories to look back on.
