Page 100 of Rebel Heart
My hand flew to the front of my throat to massage the ache that had formed there as tears pricked my eyes. All day long, there’d been little interaction between Beau and anyone in my family besides Rosie. They’d all been cordial enough, offering a nod of greeting when we arrived, which was far more than we’d gotten the first time around, but there hadn’t been anything beyond that. No direct conversation with him. No questions to get to know him. I didn’t want to demand everything all at once from them, but I could admit that it hurt to see they weren’t really putting in the effort to try to include him.
I wondered if Rhea saw it and sensed my dismay over it. Whatever the reason she did it, I decided she wasgoing to be getting an extra Christmas gift this year. Because not only did she find a way to make Beau feel more included that anyone else had, but she’d also given me the opportunity to see the man I’d fallen in love with holding a baby. It did things to me that I hadn’t anticipated.
The conversation flowed into something else at that point, but I’d been focusing all my attention on Beau. On how happy he’d made me and how excited I was for the life we were going to build together.
When the party began to wind down—Beau suddenly had Lily in his arms—I felt a tap on my shoulder. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
I could’ve cried at that voice. Looking up, I saw Liam standing over me. “Sure.”
After telling Beau that I’d just be a few minutes—he didn’t seem too concerned about being left alone with the rest of the family—I took a walk with Liam.
For a long time, we didn’t say anything to one another. I could only assume that, as much as he wanted to talk, Liam was struggling with this.
He eventually came to a stop, turned to face me, and said, “I’m so angry.”
I winced. “I noticed.”
Shaking his head, he continued, “I know I shouldn’t be. I know I’m supposed to be happy for you. And deep down, if you’re happy, Jules, I’m happy for you. But I’m so angry.”
“Liam,” I rasped.
“What you did hurts just about as bad as everything I went through years ago with Layla.”
I swallowed roughly. My brother had become a shell of himself when things went south between him and her. To think I’d inflicted that kind of pain on him killed me. “It was never my intention to hurt you.”
He let out a frustrated sigh. “So, why’d you do it? Why did you put us all in this position to hate the man you love?”
That was a blow I hadn’t been ready to take. God, it hurt.
“I was caught up, Liam. I couldn’t help how I felt. I can’t explain it, but there was something between us, between him and me, that told me he was my guy.”
“Nobody understands that better than me,” he returned. “I knew very early on with Layla. You know that. I just hate that you didn’t want us to know.”
“I did,” I insisted. “You can ask him. But I was scared. Confused. Everything was happening so fast, and I wanted to tell all of you, but I was afraid you’d be disappointed in me for winding up pregnant after only knowing him a short time. He did it for me, you know? He asked me when I wanted to tell all of you, and I told him I wasn’t sure I could, because I did it all backwards. And he didn’t hesitate. He cared enough about me and what I was feeling to do right by me and this baby.”
Liam looked away and dragged his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to be there for you. To see my sister get married. After everything you did for me all those yearswhen I was broken, after the way you accepted Layla back into your life without ever holding a grudge, I wanted to be there for you on the most important day of your life.”
The anguish he felt was unparalleled. “I’m sorry for taking that away from you. I am. I can’t go back and change it, but I don’t want it to define the relationship I have with you or anyone else in this family for the rest of my life. And I certainly don’t want it to stop you, or Wyatt, or Cooper, or Tate, or Mom, or Dad from taking the time to get to know him. We’re here, and it’s been nice enough today, Liam, but don’t think I haven’t noticed that none of you who I just named made any effort with Beau. As much as I hurt you, it was never intentional. But this? The way you’re all acting. I can’t stop myself from thinking that this is your way of punishing me. And that’s not who I know you to be.”
He closed his eyes and sighed with disappointment as he dropped his head back. After one or two deep breaths, he looked at me and said, “I’m trying. I promise, I’m trying to get there, because you mean too much to me not to.”
I didn’t know what I could do to get him to understand how badly I needed this. That’s when I realized it wasn’t me who needed it and recalled something Beau had once said to me.
“Liam, family doesn’t mean the same thing to Beau that it means to us,” I shared. “He doesn’t have all the good memories that we do, and there’s nobody around for him besides his three best friends. Help me. Help me show him what it’s like to be part of a family that caresand loves one another unconditionally. If I really mean that much to you, I know you can do this for me.”
Judging by the look on his face, I wasn’t quite sure he was fully on board. But he nodded and promised, “I’m going to try my best.”
I smiled at him. “Thank you.”
Liam opened his arms and hugged me. “I love you, Jules. I hope you know that.”
Squeezing him around the waist, I rasped, “I do. I love you, too.”
My brother and I returned to the group, where Skye had just lifted Lily out of Beau’s arms. He stood, saw me approaching, and watched tentatively. It didn’t matter to him that he was the one being ostracized. He was only concerned about my well-being.
I walked up, slid my arms around him, and rested my head against his chest.
“Everything okay?” he asked quietly.
