Page 96 of A Queen's Match
Hélène seemed to consider that thoughtfully; then she huffed out a breath.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? That we were engaged to both of them at different times?”
“Both of them?” Alix repeated.
“Eddy and Nicholas! We made quite a tangle of things, didn’t we? The only way it could be messier is if May had been engaged to Nicholas, too.” Hélène rolled her eyes. “Honestly, if she could have figured it out, I’m sure she would have been.”
Alix surprised herself by taking another sip of brandy.When had Hélène refilled her tumbler? The alcohol was seeping into her mind, loosening her limbs, casting everything in a golden glow. “I don’t think my engagement to Eddy should really count,” she protested.
“Your grandmother considered it real enough.”
“And you were never actually engaged to Nicholas!”
“True. We could barely manage a pretend courtship.” Hélène pulled the green coverlet onto her lap, glancing over at Alix. “All I’m saying is that it’s amusing, that you and I were connected to the same two men. Especially because we are so different.”
“We are certainly different,” Alix agreed. “But perhaps that’s why we are friends. Perhaps friends who are too similar come into conflict.”
“I wouldn’t know. I don’t have any female friends, except my sister. And you,” Hélène declared.
“Me too. Just you and my sister,” Alix murmured.
Hélène tilted her tumbler, letting the liquid slide from one corner to the other, lost in thought. “I suspect most women wouldn’t become friends the way we did. Sharing fiancés, fake courtships, secrets.”
“I don’t knowhowmost women make friends,” Alix admitted. “It’s not really covered in the etiquette books.”
“Because society doesn’t want us to work together. We are taught to think of each other as enemies. As competition in the marriage market.”
Hélène’s words saddened Alix, primarily because they were true.
“Tell me more about this Maximilian,” Hélène declared, changing the subject. “How long has he been courting you?”
Alix recounted the story of Maximilian’s courtship, how easy and bright it had all felt. She told Hélène how his family adored her, how Maximilian had seen her in the throes of an attack and helped her manage it. How they both wanted the same things from life: a simple home in Germany, full of books and children.
“You said a lot of words, just now,” Hélène replied at last. “None of them wereI love him.”
“We haven’t been courting all that long!”
“So?” Hélène pressed. “How long did it take you to fall in love with Nicholas?”
Alix said nothing. She had loved Nicholas from the very first visit, probably the very first moment.
Hélène sat up straighter, gesturing to Alix’s expression. “See! That look on your face—you didn’t look like that when you were talking about Maximilian, not once! Instead you kept telling me hownicehe was, and that if you married him you would live near Darmstadt.”
“What’s wrong withnice?” Alix demanded. “At least if I got engaged to Maximilian I would be better off than Ernie! At least I would have achanceof loving Maximilian someday!”
She immediately winced; she shouldn’t have said that, shouldn’t have hinted at Ernie’s secret, even in the vaguest of terms.
Hélène seemed confused. “What does this have to do with your brother?”
“Nothing,” Alix said hastily. “It’s just—he and Ducky are not well matched.”
Hélène shrugged. “I suspect they’ll do better than most.Alix, just because your brother’s marriage was arranged for convenience doesn’t mean yours has to be. You can have more thanniceoreasy. You love Nicholas, and despite all the obstacles in your way, he loves you, too.”
“Yes, I love Nicholas, but it has always been so volatile, so—difficult!” Alix shook her head, tears pricking at her eyes. “With Nicholas I felt overwhelming joy, and at the same time, so much pain. I may not love Maximilian yet, but I know I could come to love him someday. And it would be a more adult love, based on affection and trust. Not a wild storm ofemotions.”
“A more adult love, or a safe one?” Hélène challenged.
“The kind that doesn’t leave you heartbroken!”
