Page 17 of A Queen's Match
“Why?” Alix’s question was sharp.
“It was my idea, Alix,” Hélène cut in. “I thought it might give me some time, while I figure out how to deal with…”With May,she didn’t need to say.
Alix understood at once. If May thought that Hélène had moved on, that she no longer cared about Eddy, then May might relax her guard. And Hélène could try to find her weakspot.
Hélène looked like she wanted to say more, but seemed to think better of it. “I should rejoin my parents,” she said tactfully, leaving Alix and Nicholas alone.
Alix waited until Hélène’s footsteps had receded before turning to Nicholas. “Why would you agree to such a thing? To let everyone think you and Hélène are truly courting, when none of it is real?”
“Because it would allow me to stay in London longer. Finally, we would be in the same place.” Nicholas reached for Alix’s hand, closing it in both of his. “I miss you so much, Alix. I just want to be near you.”
“Except that you won’t be withme;you’ll be with her.”
“Only in public. I’ll spend every moment that I can withyou.”
Before Alix could reply, there was a roar of applause from the ballroom. Everyone was clearly in there, lifting their champagne glasses as Bertie praised his long-suffering wife. Alix could picture it: guests stepping on the hems of each other’s gowns, craning their necks as they glanced from the hosts to each other. Her absence—and Nicholas’s—would soon be noticed.
“We should get back.” Nicholas held out a hand to Alix. “Come with me?”
She stared at him, brow furrowed. “I thought you just said you need to publicly court Hélène.”
“I think we can get away with a single dance,” he said softly.
It was true that no one would remark upon a single dance. A young lady who danced more than three times with the same man would be considered fast, unless the couple were engaged; but a single dance was hardly anything, a handful of minutes in one of these long evenings. There were plenty of women who would get a single dance from Nicholas tonight: his aunt Alexandra, his cousins, various noblewomen who threw themselves in his path.
For these few minutes, Alix could hold him with absolute impunity. Could rest her hands on his shoulders, look up into his deep blue eyes.
“Of course I’ll dance with you,” Alix agreed. As if she had ever been in danger of refusing.
They didn’t dare walk together into the ballroom; Alix followed a few beats behind. Some of the flowers that had been wound around the terrace’s iron railing were already wilting; a few petals had been crushed underfoot. Alix stepped over them and into the crowded ballroom.
Sure enough, Bertie’s booming laugh echoed around the room, which erupted in more applause. The Princess of Wales stood next to him, as thin and impeccably dressed as ever, her smile fixed and immobile. The toast was evidently concluding, servers moving through the room with empty flutes of champagne.
When the orchestra played the opening strands of a waltz, Nicholas greeted Alix as if seeing her for the first time. “Alix. May I trouble you for a dance?”
He stepped closer and set a hand on her waist. Even that slight sensation made her heart skip.
“I have missed you,” he murmured.
“And I you. So much.” She left it there, because she didn’t want to pester him when they were only just reunited, but Nicholas clearly sensed her unease.
“What is it?”
“I don’t…”I don’t know what we are doing,Alix wanted to say.I don’t know how long we can keep doing it, waiting for a resolution that seems hopeless. Instead she said, “When did you arrive in London?”
“A few days ago. You didn’t get my letter?”
“Your letter?” Alix repeated.
“I wrote to tell you that I was coming to London.” At the look on her face, Nicholas sighed. “So, they’re going through Misha’s mail. My parents knew that I was writing you, and told me to stop, so I asked Misha to post the letters.”
“We have a long road ahead if your parents are intercepting your brother’s mail to keep us apart.” Alix’s words weretight.
Nicholas spun her gently, and Alix’s gown, a cerulean blue shot through with threads of silver, fanned out around her. “I promise, we will find a way,” he murmured softly. “I love you.”
Alix settled back from the turn and Nicholas tucked her closer, moving his hand daringly low on her back. “I love you too,” she risked saying.
It was bold of them, whispering such things in a ballroom full of people, but Alix couldn’t bring herself to worry about that. Nicholas washere—not in Russia, or on a ship halfway around the world, but in her arms. It was deliciousand wondrous and at the same time, nowhere near enough. Nicholas’s left hand was still in Alix’s, his right curled around her back. She felt the air filling his rib cage with each breath, the warmth of his body, the tension of his muscles through the layers of fabric that separated them.
