Page 136 of Reign
And inevitably, once the red wine had loosened them both, they had talked about Jeff.
When Daphne returned to her side of the English Channel, the conversation had continued. Now she and Nina were…friends, as unbelievable as it seemed.
And really, why shouldn’t they be friends? Jeff had always been the wedge between them. He was out of the picture now; Nina was still spending time with Jamie, avoiding the limelight, but that was no obstacle to her hanging out with Daphne.
She stepped out into the sunshine and blinked in surprise.
She must be daydreaming. Her thoughts of Prince Jefferson had caused her mind to hallucinate him, because surely he wasn’t here, in Oxford, standing there in the quadrangle and waiting for Nina.
He looked as handsome as ever in a button-down with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his tanned forearms. At the sight of Nina, his eyes brightened hopefully.
“Nina—hi.”
“Jeff?” How could he sayhias if this wasn’t a complete and utter shock? She hugged her notebook tighter to her chest. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in Washington for the coronation?”
“The official events all start tomorrow. I’m about to fly back; I was in London and figured I’d swing by,” he explained. “I just…I needed to see you.”
“Okay,” she said slowly, still dazed.
“Can we, um, take a walk? Are you busy?”
She nodded toward a courtyard framed by pointed arches, stone gargoyles carved into the pillars. “Sure.”
Jeff started walking quickly, then seemed to notice he was outpacing Nina and slowed his steps. He was distinctly nervous.
“I’ve been thinking a lot since I last saw you,” Jeff began.
The last time we saw each other was six months ago, at your rehearsal dinner, when you almost said “I love you.”Nina knew better than to voice those thoughts aloud, but Jeff was obviously thinking of the same thing, because he cleared his throat.
“Nina…I want to tell you that I’m sorry. The way I’ve treated you the past few years has been selfish. You were right when you said that it wasn’t fair to you, or to Daphne.”
Nina traced a hand along one of the stone columns, trying to ground herself in the present, because this still felt like a dream. How many times had she longed for Jeff to say he was sorry? And now the moment had arrived, and instead of feeling a stab of pleasure, she was simply hollow with regret.
“It was hard on me, seeing you with Daphne,” she admitted. “Especially when you got engaged just weeks after we had kissed.”
“I hate that I put you through that. I’m sure it’s too little too late, but I need you to know—I loved you the whole time, even when I did a terrible job of showing it.”
“If you loved me the whole time, why did you get engaged to her?”
Jeff looked at the flagstones beneath their shoes. When he glanced up again, his eyes gleamed with remorse. “It was…complicated.”
Nina thought of what Daphne had confessed in the throne room,I lied to him,and a sliver of compassion wormed its way into her heart.
“Nina, what I’m trying to say is that you’re right. I shouldn’t have committed to Daphne, no matter the circumstances, not feeling the way I did about you.”
“Jeff…” Nina fell silent, unsure whether she was inviting him to continue, or begging him to stop.
“Please, just let me say this, and if you still hate me at the end of it, then I’ll leave you alone forever, I swear.” The wordstumbled rapidly from his mouth, as if he needed to say them quickly, before he lost his nerve.
“I love you, Nina. I’ve loved you since we were kids chasing each other around the palace. I love you so much that when we did actually date, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, because I was afraid that all of it—everything that comes along with dating me—would scare you away. And it did scare you away,” he added mournfully.
Nina nodded, fighting back tears.
“When we became friends again last fall, I started to hope that maybe your opinions about my position had changed. That maybe you would give us another chance. Then Beatrice got in her accident, and I was under so much pressure, and Daphne—” He broke off, sighed. “I thought that getting engaged to Daphne was the right thing, the noble thing, but of course it wasn’t. It’s never the right thing to pledge your heart and not mean it.”
Jeff stopped in their walk and took both her hands in his. “Do you think we could try again? Start over?”
After everything that had happened, Nina wasn’t sure they werecapableof starting over—if she were even free to.
