Page 76 of Reign
“No,” she admitted, a bit chagrined to have lived in Washington her whole life and never seen this. “Have you?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been wanting to come for a while, but didn’t want to go without you.”
Behind them, the protection officer had thrown open the rear of the SUV and flattened the middle seats, so that the entire trunk was exposed to the view. “Want to sit?” Teddy offered, as the driver discreetly retreated to wait by the hood of the car.
Beatrice hoisted herself up, then scooted back so that the edge of her booties tipped out over the edge. Teddy looked to her for permission, and when she nodded, came to sit next to her.
“Washington looks the prettiest like this,” she mused aloud.
“What, from a distance?”
“At sunset.” She held out a hand, indicating the city in the distance. People moved on the streets like tiny ants. So many millions of them, and every last one of them wanted something different from her, from America.
“In daylight it feels so sharp, all the historic buildings squeezed up next to modern glass ones. And at night when the streetlights click on, it’s too harsh. It feels more approachableat twilight, more gentle. It’s the only time this city has ever really felt like home to me,” she admitted.
“Walthorpe was never quite home, either. I was happy growing up there, and I will always love it, but…I never felt about it the way home is supposed to feel.”
“Which is?”
“Home should make you feel secure and safe and utterly at ease. When you’re home you should feel like youbelong.Like you fit perfectly.”
Beatrice knew what he meant. No matter how fiercely she loved her family, her role as future monarch had always held her at a slight distance from them. Her life was dictated by the Crown, and the Crown didn’t love her at all.
“I’m sorry you never got to feel that,” she murmured, and Teddy shook his head.
“Oh, I did—just not at Walthorpe.”
“Really?” Beatrice asked, her curiosity piqued. “Where?”
Teddy looked away, seeming reluctant to have brought it up. “A person can be home, you know, just as much as a place.”
The only sound was the soft rise and fall of their breath. Beatrice had thought of this car as an SUV, but she was becoming aware that it wasn’t as big as she’d imagined. She and Teddy were very nearly touching in a dozen places.
She wrapped her arms around herself, and Teddy noticed the movement. “Are you cold?”
“I’m fine. Just…thinking,” Beatrice replied, but he was already shrugging out of his coat and handing it over.
The polite thing to do was to put it on, so Beatrice did. The coat was still warm from the heat of his body, and itsmelledlike Teddy, a scent that was soft and clean and hit her with an unexpected wave of longing, or maybe nostalgia.
“What are you thinking about?” When she didn’t answer,he added, “Want to think out loud?”Think with me,his eyes pleaded.
She settled on the simplest thing to explain. “I wasn’t in Texas on a social call. I was there to ask for help, because the Duke of Virginia wants to depose me.”
“Hewhat?”
The whole story came spilling out in a confused jumble, which wasn’t at all like Beatrice, who usually had her thoughts—and emotions—tucked in tidy folders in her mind.
When she’d finished, Teddy leaned forward. “Let me help, please. I can lobby more senators, strategize with you, whatever you need. We won’t let Madison take the crown from you.”
“But what if he does? Or worse, what if I do something wrong and clear the way for him? Everyone is already watching, just waiting for me to slip up, and if I fail in this monumental way…” She drew in a breath. “I know you understand what I mean when I say that my position has always defined me.”
“It shouldn’t. Your position doesn’t define you;youdefine yourposition.”
“The Crown doesn’t work that way,” she said heavily.
“Why not? Without you the Crown is a bunch of robes and jewels and titles.Youare the one who brings it all to life. I know you don’t remember what a great queen you are, but I’m here to remind you. You can do this,” Teddy said fervently. “You’ve done it already.”
Beatrice’s mind snagged on those words.I’m here to remind you.
