Page 11 of American Royals II: Majesty
When Beatrice stepped into her father’s office, she saw that nothing had been touched since he died.
All his things were in their usual places on his desk: his monogrammed stationery; a ceremonial gold fountain pen; the Great Seal and its wax melter, which resembled a hot glue gun but emitted liquid red wax instead. It looked for all the world like her dad had just stepped out and might return again at any moment.
If only that were true.
Beatrice had thought she was used to being the focal point of everyone’s attention. But she hadn’t realized how much worse it would get once she became queen. It wasn’t fair that she’d been granted just six weeks to process the loss of her dad, only to be shoved back into the national spotlight. But what choice did she have? The mourning period was officially over, the endless carousel of court functions swinging back into motion. Already Beatrice’s schedule was packed with events: benefits, charity appearances, even an upcoming gala at the museum.
And she wasn’t ready. Yesterday at the races, when the national anthem had played, she’d automatically opened her mouth to join in, only to remember belatedly that she couldn’t sing it anymore. Not when the song was directed ather.
Her position always left her feeling this way—that she was most alone when she was most surrounded by people.
At the creaking sound of footsteps, her head shot up.
“Sorry.” Connor winced as the floor once again groaned beneath his feet. That was the thing about living in a palace; two-hundred-year-old floorboards did not keep secrets.
He closed the door and leaned against it. “I just…I wanted to check on you.”
Guilt twisted in Beatrice’s stomach. She’d been avoiding Connor—or at least, avoided beingalonewith him, since he was always nearby: hovering in the wings of her life while she occupied center stage.
He still didn’t know that she and Teddy were really getting married. She needed to tell him, and soon; the palace was planning to announce the wedding date later this week. But every time she started to bring it up, she found herself dodging the subject like an utter coward.
“I’m just tired,” she murmured, which was true: she still wasn’t getting much sleep.
“Don’t do that. You don’t need to be strong with me, remember?” Connor crossed the distance between them and gathered her into his arms, pulling her close.
For a moment Beatrice let herself relax into the embrace. Somehow she always forgot how much taller he was until they stood like this, her face nestled into the hollow at the center of his chest.
“I’m here for whatever you need,” Connor said into her hair. “You don’t have to be the queen around me, you know. You can just beyou.”
“I know.” It was easy for Beatrice to be herself around him, and maybe that was the problem. Maybe with Connor she was toomuchof herself, and not enough of a queen.
She twisted out of his embrace, her eyes lifting to meet his. “Connor—there’s something I need to tell you.”
He nodded, clearly alerted by her change in tone. “All right.”
The entire world seemed to fall still. Beatrice was suddenlyaware of every detail—the feel of her silk blouse over her collarbones, the dust motes slanting in the hard afternoon light, the devotion in Connor’s eyes.
He wouldn’t look at her like that again, not once he found out what she’d agreed to. Beatrice took a deep breath, and let the truth fall painfully into the silence.
“Teddy and I are getting married in June.”
“You—what?”
“The engagement isn’t just for show. It’s…we’re really going through with it.”
Connor recoiled. “I don’t understand. The night of the engagement party, you two agreed that you would call off the wedding as soon as it was appropriate. What happened?”
My father died, and it’s all my fault.
“I’m queen now, Connor.” The words seemed to strangle Beatrice as they floated up out of her lungs. “It changes things.”
“Exactly! Nowyoucan change things, for the better!”
Hearing that excitement, his belief in her, nearly undid her. “It’s not that simple. Just because I’m queen doesn’t mean that I can rewrite the rules.” If anything, she was more bound by the rules than ever before.
Connor caught her hands in his. “I love you, and I know that we can figure this out. Unless…unless your feelings have changed.”
Tears stung Beatrice’s eyes. “You want me to say it? Fine, I’ll say it! Iloveyou!” she burst out, so viciously that she might have just as easily been sayingI hate you.“But that isn’tenough,Connor!”
