Page 65 of The Dazzling Heights
“What’s going on?” Jess asked when they were seated at Ichi a few hours later. Despite the late notice, all three girls had shown up, as Avery knew they would.
Avery tugged nervously at her laser-cut black dress and reached for the platter of lobster tempura on the table before them. Ichi was a trendy sushi restaurant, an old favorite of Eris’s, nestled like an opulent gem in the center of the 941st floor. It had no exterior windows, but that worked perfectly with the clubby atmosphere: dim lighting, techno music, and especially the low-slung tables that forced everyone to sit on the ground, amid piles of red silk cushions.
“I just wanted to have a fun girls’ night,” she said, flashing a smile.
“It’s a Wednesday,” Risha pointed out.
“I’m avoiding my parents,” Avery decided to admit. “They wanted to have a big family dinner at home, but I’m upset with them and not in the mood. I don’t want to get into it,” she added, and Ming—who’d already opened her mouth to ask a question—reluctantly stayed silent.
A waiter swooped over with the rest of their order: eel sashimi, tartare tacos, an enormous baked miso soufflé. When he started to deposit bright purple drinks at the corner of each place setting, Avery looked up in surprise. “We didn’t order lychee martinis.”
“I did,” Ming announced, and turned to Avery with a challenging smile. “Come on, you know you want one.”
Avery started to protest; she wasn’t in the mood to drink, atall. But then she thought of Atlas, sitting there with her parents, toasting to the job she’d never wanted him to take. One drink wouldn’t hurt.
The girls were all looking at Avery, awaiting her judgment. “Okay,” she said, lifting the martini to her lips.
“Let’s take a snap!” Jess squealed.
Avery started to shift aside like she normally did. She’d always hated being in snaps: she couldn’t control how the images made their way through the feeds, never knew who saw them, and despite all that effort there were far more pics out there than she wanted. But tonight, something stopped her. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing, if Atlas saw her out right now with her friends. Maybe it would start making things normal between them.
“Here, take one with me in it,” she said, her voice ringing strange even to her own ears. She felt slippery with anxiety.
“Of course.” Ming pulled her lips into a tight, angular smile as the other girls turned and posed with practiced ease. “But, Avery, youneverwant to be in snaps. Who are you trying to make jealous?” Ming demanded, suspicious.
“Everyone,” Avery said easily, and they all laughed, even Ming.
Avery leaned back and glanced around the room. Everyone here was young and well-dressed, their skin bright with the elusive glow of wealth. A few boys at other tables glanced their way, clearly wondering about the young women in their short dresses and long glittery earrings, but no one had yet ventured over to talk to them.
“Risha. Tell me more about you and Scott,” Avery commanded, just to hear someone talk.
Risha dutifully recounted the latest development in her on-again-off-again romance with Scott Bandier, who was a senior at Berkeley. Avery forced herself to laugh so that no one would notice her strange mood. If she laughed and smiled and nodded enough, nothing would really be wrong.
But inside, her mind was roiling erratically, fluttering from one topic to the next without any resolution. She couldn’t focus on anything, couldn’t think—just kept picking at the cold remains of the miso soufflé. The kaleidoscope of light and sound washed over her, dulling the persistent ache in her heart. She kept taking sips of her martini, which Ming must have refilled at some point, though she hadn’t noticed.
Eventually their group began to swell. First it was a couple of other girls from their class, Anandra and Danika; they’d seen the snaps and wanted to join. And then more Berkeley kids showed up, clustering around the bar, ordering that signature purple martini and posting snaps to the feeds, bringing evenmorepeople. Soon Avery felt like half the Berkeley student body was there, spilling onto the dark wooden dance floor in sticky clumps. She thought she saw Leda at one point, but before she could be sure, a trio of guys—Rick, Maxton, Zay Wagner—bore down on their table.
“Zay dumped Daniela, you know,” Ming whispered, with a meddlesome wink.
Avery didn’t react to that news at first. She’d been sitting in the same place all night, a little like a queen presiding over her subjects; not that she’d meant it that way. She just hadn’t cared enough about anything to bother moving.
But Ming had a point. Whyshouldn’tshe talk to Zay? What was left to hold her back? She didn’t have Atlas anymore, no matter what she did.
Avery suddenly remembered how whenever Eris felt heartbroken after a relationship, she would throw herself violently and wholeheartedly into a flirtation with someone new. Avery had asked her about it once. “There’s no forgetting likethatkind of forgetting,” Eris had replied, with an arch smile and a knowing flash of her eyes.
“Zay!” Avery exclaimed after a beat, standing up slowly, the way Eris would have. “How’ve you been?”
Zay seemed startled by her attention; after all, she’d soundly rejected him several months earlier. “Great, thanks,” he said cautiously.
But Avery was determined not to be ignored. She turned her flirtation on full wattage, flashing her brightest smile. Poor Zay didn’t stand a chance.
She was just about to lead him onto the dimly lit dance floor when someone tapped at Zay’s elbow.
“Mind if I cut in?” Cord took Avery’s arm and smoothly led her away. Zay stood there about to protest, his mouth half open like a gutted fish.
“That line was a bit clichéd, even for you,” Avery accused, though she didn’t really mind. She hadn’t actually cared about Zay. She’d just felt strangely loose and unmoored, and needed to do something—anything—to feel anchored.
And if Atlas saw her on the feeds, bright and glittering and careless, that wouldn’t have bothered her either.
