Page 55 of The Weekend Crashers
Piper meets Hannah Elise by the Adirondack chairs, outside on the lawn between the inn and Bucks County Playhouse. The light is changing, the sun dipping lower and casting everything in an almost violet hue. The fleeting warmth and quicksilver beauty of the moment feels like peak autumn, the perfect backdrop for the knitwear Hannah Elise wants to video. This makes it harder for Piper to break the news that she doesn’t want to do any more posts.
“I don’t want to sound like an ass, but doing social reminds me of work,” she says.
“And that’s a bad thing? If I were you, that’s all I’d be thinking about out here. I’d trade jobs with you in a second.”
“That’s bullshit. You’re insanely passionate about this stuff. That’s why I follow you.”
“This ain’t my day job, babe.” Hannah Elise bends down and opens her pink Away suitcase filled with carefully folded knitwear. She shakes out a cute striped bucket hat and hands it to Piper. “I made it for you last night.”
Piper smiles, but shakes her head. “Are you trying to bribe me?”
“Not at all. It’s a little thank-you for your help yesterday. No strings attached. And as for being passionate—yeah, I’m passionate about crochet. But you think I want to be spending my weekend with a bunch of middle-aged women looking to party like it’s 1999? Mama has to pay the rent.”
Piper bobs her head like,Of course. Totally get it.But she never imagined Hannah Elise wasn’t enjoying herself, and the fact that the weekend is just a J-O-B to her is a letdown.
“But—silver lining: I met you,” Hannah Elise says.
It’s flattering to hear, but she can’t get on board with her cynical attitude towards the retreat.
“I think this place is kinda perfect,” she says.
Hannah Elise frowns at her unironic enjoyment of the weekend. Piper feels the need to compensate so she changes her mind about recording. “I guess I have time to do a few videos.”
“You’re the best,” Hannah Elise says. “You don’t even have to change into the clothes—just pick something out of the bag and hold it up when I give you the cue.”
Piper crouches down and looks through the knitwear, deciding between a pair of chevron patterned bellbottoms and a Granny Square cape. When she straightens up again, she sees Cole walking toward them.
“Hey. What are you doing out here?” she says when he’s close enough to hear.
“I need to talk for a sec.”
“How’d you know where to find me?”
He turns and points to the second floor of the inn. “I didn’t. But I was looking out and saw you two. Sorry to interrupt,” he says to Hannah Elise.
Hannah Elise passes him a scarf. “No problem. I could use some male representation. Put this on?”
He takes it distractedly and turns back to Piper. “Listen, I have to bail on the camping tonight.”
“Really? I already told my mother and she agreed to go. Did your dad say no or something?”
Cole shakes his head. “It’s not him, it’s me: I need some space. But I think your mom should still go. But since I’m not, you should hang back, too.
“Why?”
“Because if you go, then there’s no chance they’ll spend time together. It will be just you and your mom having a romantic night under the starts.”
Piper gets it; he’s probably right.
“Hey, you two: I’m going live,” Hannah Elise says. She tilts her chin up, talking to the phone screen. When she turns the camera lens on Piper, she gets right with the program and holds up the chevron-patterned pants.
“Piper, will you try those on for us later so we can see what they look like with someone actually wearing them?” she says.
On the spot, Piper says, “Sure... but in the meantime, everyone can see Cole wearing this scarf.” She takes it from his hands and arranges it around his neck.
“For the record, this is nonconsensual audience participation,” he says. Hannah Elise keeps going, not missing a beat. Piper tries on a bucket hat, and she and Cole mug for the camera.
Hannah is wrong about the weekend.
