Page 92 of Summer Longing
“Oh! That reminds me,” Clifford said. “Speaking of next summer, my dear, if you enlist me to rent out your house for the season, you must not then decide tomove back in. Frankly, it’s bad for business.”
Next summer? She couldn’t even think about next week. If she and Fern broke up, what would happen to Shell Haven? She couldn’t bear to think about it. She refused to think about it.
“You shouldn’t have rented it out to begin with!” Bianca said. “My daughter didn’t sell it to you so you could turn it into some sort of boardinghouse for tourists.”
“Okay, that’s enough, everyone,” Lidia said, shooing them toward the door. “Take the bubbly onto the deck. And while you’re at it, grab the sangria I have in the fridge.”
“Your sangria should come with a warning label,” Clifford said. “And I mean that as the highest compliment.”
Elise hung back and asked for a place to change Mira.
“You can use my room,” Jaci said.
It was a relief to be alone for a minute. She closed the bedroom door and sat at Jaci’s small desk. It was built into the wall, a masterpiece of custom woodworking that Manny had done himself. When Elise had first visited the house, Lidia had proudly detailed all of her husband’s handiwork.
It was wonderful to have a partner.
“But it might just be you and me, kid,” Elise said, resting Mira on her bent knees. She waved at her, and Mira smiled.
She smiled.At her!
“Oh my God. Your first smile!”
A knock at the door.
“Come in,” Elise said.
Jaci peered inside. “Sorry to interrupt. I was just wondering if you needed any help with her. I can watch her for a while if you want to hang out with people and be, like, an adult for the night.”
“Jaci, you won’t believe this. She just smiled! And it wasn’t, like, just a gassy smile that was a reflex. I said something to her and waved, and she smiled back.”
“Aww, that’s amazing, Elise.”
Elise resisted the urge to pick up her phone and text Fern the news. She would have to be satisfied with sharing the moment with Jaci. Jaci, who had been so empathetic when Elise had admitted her sorrow over her failed attempt to have a baby. She understood why Lidia might be frustrated with Jaci, but she was a good kid.
Elise changed Mira quickly, then turned to Jaci. “Let’s go outside and have some fun,” she said.
The extra time with Ben had proved to be a frustrating exercise in proximity without closeness. Occasionally, while Ruth worked in the kitchen, he sat at the table for a few minutes and they talked, but the depth of their earlier conversation about the past had not been repeated. And yet, with each interaction, her feelings surfaced more and more, like a plant that had been dormant, the roots still growing belowground, its leaves just now unfolding.
Two days earlier, with the Fourth of July on the horizon and the clock ticking, she had decided she had to say something. It was the “Speak now or forever hold your peace” of their wedding—just more than three decades late. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted or what she could possibly expect from expressing her feelings to him. It just felt imperative to share the thought that maybe, somehow, they had gotten it wrong eighteen years ago. That maybe they should have ridden out the storm. Because now, with all of her striving behind her and their daughter grown, she felt like she was looking at clear skies. The only thing they needed was the willingness to try again.
She’d been trying to find the right moment, but that moment somehow hadn’t presented itself. And so, while they waited on the back porch for Olivia to finish getting dressed for the party, she said, “I need to talk to you about something.”
Ben nodded. “I think I know what you’re going to say.”
Her heart soared. “You do?”
“Yes. We haven’t discussed it since that night at the Italian restaurant, but I appreciate you finding that playwriting class for me. I know you’re trying to give me back something that you think I lost. I’ll admit, my first thought was that it was a ridiculous idea. But I found myself thinking about it and thinking about it, and, well, I’ve decided to do it.”
Ruth took a moment to recover and process the turn the conversation had taken. No, he hadn’t been thinking the same thing she had about their relationship. But he had reconsidered the Fine Arts Work Center class, and that meant he would stay in town longer.
Now it seemed unwise to admit her feelings. What if she scared him off and he changed his mind? Maybe she needed to let the situation breathe a little. Why rush and risk blowing it? Especially with the holiday upon them. How could Ben not think of the good times, the best times, when they were celebrating together on the anniversary of the day they had first made love, in the town where they had fallen in love?
And yet, when they got to the party, it felt all wrong.
Ruth had imagined cocktails and loose mingling by the water; Amelia and Rachel and Luke and everyone else who had known one another forever would be chatting away, and Ben—a newcomer—would gravitate to her, and they would have a moment. Maybe an entire evening of moments.
Instead, Lidia had put out picnic tables, and as the early evening transitioned to twilight, all the guests seemed happy to sit where they were, much as they had the night of Rachel and Luke’s backyard party. There was no mingling, and Ruth was left to figure out how to reposition the highly undesirable seating arrangement. She had ended up sandwiched between Tito and Bianca, leaving Ruth with the double whammy of awkwardness with Tito and separation from Ben.
