Page 47 of Summer Longing
They collected empty plates on their way to the kitchen, where Rachel was already piling a bunch in the sink.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” Rachel said, reaching out to relieve them of the dishes. “I’m just leaving these for now.”
“Please, Rachel. Go outside and sit. You’ve been running around all night. Ruth and I need to stretch our legs,” Lidia said, sharing a conspiratorial glance with Ruth.
“It’s true. And I need to start working off that wine.”
Rachel reluctantly left them, giving one last look over her shoulder and an “Are you sure?” before they shooed her outside.
Lidia opened the dishwasher and pulled the top and bottom racks forward. “I’ll rinse, you stack them in the dishwasher,” she said, and Ruth immediately felt bad about taking the cushier part of dishwashing duty.
“You have a beautiful family,” Ruth said, fitting a serving platter along the side of the dishwasher’s bottom rack.
“Oh, thank you,” Lidia said, then sighed. “Though I have to admit, I was really looking forward to my daughter coming home for the summer, and so far, it hasn’t gone well. She doesn’t want to spend time with us—at least, not the way she used to. She didn’t even come home for Christmas!”
Ruth searched for some words of wisdom, something about the age or the transition from living at home to living away but not fully being an adult. And she was sure those things were true, but she hadn’t experienced them herself. By the time Olivia was a freshman in college, they hadn’t lived together for years. To say anything in commiseration felt disingenuous. So she said nothing. This was perhaps a mistake, because in the silence, Lidia added, “I know I sound needy.”
“No,” Ruth said quickly. “Not at all. In fact, I’m having issues with my daughter as well, though it’s an entirely different situation. I understand your feeling of disappointment.”
Lidia looked at her gratefully. “I appreciate that. My husband thinks I’m taking it too personally. He’s annoyed with Jaci for dragging her heels when it comes to doing the job we need her to do, but he’s not emotional about it. Frankly, I wish I could be more like him.” She passed Ruth some silverware, then asked, “Are you married?”
Ruth shook her head. “Divorced. Long divorced.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” The expression on her face was one of deep sympathy, as if Ruth had been dealt a terrible blow. What would Lidia think if Ruth said,I initiated it. I’m the one who broke up my family? She was sure the look of sympathy would change to something else entirely.
“Yes, well, these things happen,” Ruth said. “My one regret is that Olivia took it very hard, and our relationship hasn’t been the same since.”
“Well, it’s a good sign that she made the trip out to visit you, right?”
Ruth simply nodded. Talking to this earnest and sweet woman was making her feel like a train wreck. And yet, had the impulse to spend time with her daughter been wrong? She refused to see her attempt to mend their relationship as selfish. Yes, she wanted her daughter back. But she also wanted to be a mother, to offer her a relationship. She wasn’t just trying to take something—she was trying to give.
“She’s leaving tomorrow,” Ruth said. “Though I wish she’d stay.”
Lidia shook her head. “It’s never easy, is it?”
“No. I guess it isn’t.”
“Would you like to come over for coffee tomorrow morning?”
Ruth looked at her in surprise. “Really?”
Lidia smiled at her reaction. “Yes, really. It’s nice to have someone in town who is my age and who’s dealing with a grown daughter.”
“Well, I’d love to,” Ruth said. And she meant it. Standing in that strange kitchen, washing dishes in easy conversation with a woman she’d met only a few hours ago, Ruth felt remarkably at home. Maybe the choices of her past would limit her future with her daughter. Maybe she would always be alone. But at least she had this place and these people, with open doors and open hearts. She’d come to this town for a reason, a reason she couldn’t fully explain even to herself. Ruth had never been one to second-guess her instincts. And once she had an idea in mind, she made it happen.Motion, always motion.Provincetown was a fresh start.
She could not force her daughter into a relationship with her. And she would not try. Clearly, it was time to let go.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The morning brought no relief. Olivia didn’t feel any more capable of the five-hour drive than she had on the day her back went out. Still, she had to get to the office, even if it meant taking the ferry and returning for her car at a later date.
“What’s your rush?” her mother said from across the breakfast table.
Um, not everyone around here is retired.“For one thing, the Wi-Fi here is nonexistent,” Olivia said, tapping away at her laptop, trying for the umpteenth time to log in to her HotFeed e-mail.
“There’s nothing wrong with the Wi-Fi,” said Ruth.
“Well, there must be, because I can’t get into my work e-mail.” But even as she said it, Olivia was checking the settings and saw she had an internet connection. So maybe something was wrong with the server in New York? She’d have to let someone know. Just as soon as she figured out her travel situation.
