Page 116 of Summer Longing
He did not answer; instead, he leaned forward and kissed her. It soon became clear they needed to take their little party of two upstairs.
“Hey,” Ben said now, sitting up. His hair was slightly mussed, and without his glasses and just wearing a gray T-shirt in bed, he looked exactly the same to her as he had as a college boy.
“Hey,” she said. How was it possible that so much time had passed and yet they could wake up in bed like it was forty years ago, like nothing at all had happened?
That had to mean something.
“That was some night,” he said, smiling.
What if she suggested they pick up where they had left off? Or, rather, that they pick up from where they had been the most happy. Ruth had once been asked the question: If you could choose any age to be forever, what would it be? This felt similar. Did an ideal version of themselves as a couple exist, one they could try to find their way back to? Or would they have to push forward, become something new entirely? Did they have it in themselves to do that?
“Don’t go back to Cherry Hill,” she said.
“Ruth,” he said. “You always have to push.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Ben put his arm around her, and she leaned against him. “No. It’s not. But Ruth, we’re too old not to be realistic. I have my life there.”
“And I just bought a house here,” she said quietly. Blue Stone. Her forever home. Then there was the fact that Elise and Fern were starting to sell her handmade products in the shop. She was on her way to launching a new small business—nothing on the scale of what Liv had become, but something. She would not mention this to Ben, would not remind him of the career-obsessed woman she had once been. Things were different now. At least, she wanted them to be different.
Ben tightened his arm around her. “I think we need to see the past few weeks—and last night—for what it was.”
“And what’s that?”
“A beautiful ending to our story.”
It was beautiful, that was for sure. “It doesn’t have to be an ending.”
He kissed the top of her head.
“Ruth, I’ll always love you. And I’m grateful we had this summer together. But let’s not be irrational.”
Why wasn’t it rational to think that now, at an entirely different stage of their lives, they might be in a place to appreciate each other and be together again? It wasn’t about rationality. He simply didn’t trust her. And why should he?
He was the one who’d made sacrifices for their life together. She never had.
Somehow, she had to show him that she was capable of that.
Elise sat hunched over in their bedroom while Fern packed up Mira’s clothes and bottles and diapers and brought them downstairs.
Manny came over to pick everything up, and when Elise heard the front door close and the sound of Fern’s footsteps climbing the stairs, she burrowed under the covers and pulled the comforter over her head. She did not want to talk to Fern—or anyone. She didn’t want to be a part of the world.
Fern sat on the edge of the bed. “Elise, I need to talk to you.”
Elise shook her head, then, realizing Fern couldn’t see it, let out a muffled “No.”
“It’s important. Just listen to what I have to say and then I’ll leave you alone. I promise.” Fern pulled back the covers and rubbed Elise’s shoulder gently.
“I’m going to sleep,” Elise said.For the rest of the year.
“This is sooner than I wanted to tell you about this, but everything that’s happened is sort of forcing my hand.” Fern paused, then said, “Amelia told me about Jaci last month.”
Elise sat up. “What?”
“She figured it out.”
“I don’t understand. When did she tell you?”
