Page 37 of Drawing Home
He asked the water-taxi captain to take Bea to the same place that Emma Mapson had gone last night.
“Aren’t you coming?” Bea said.
He hesitated, then said, “You know what? I will. Just in case Emma is there and I need to act as a referee for you two.”
“So now it’sEmma?You’re on a first-name basis suddenly?”
Kyle’s face turned red.
Men! They were all the same.
He placed her bag on the boat and helped her step aboard. There was a padded bench in front of the controls and he kept hold of her arm until she was situated.
Bea held the metal rail and looked out at the open water. The launch went only about five miles an hour, but with the rumble of the engine and the wind in her face, she felt like they were really moving. She felt a sudden lightness, almost a happiness, despite the aggravating morning.
Kyle chatted to Sean the entire ride, telling him about his childhood at the Jersey Shore and about how his father had had a boat and about how he hadn’t realized how much he missed the water. Kyle had been in Bea’s employ for five years, but she was only now learning all this. Perhaps it was more than she needed to know, considering he was leaving her.
“I hear that a lot from people visiting out here,” Sean said. “They spend a day on the water and it’s like they never left it.”
A small dog jumped up onto the bench beside her.
“Is this your animal?” she called out to Sean. Kyle shot her a look that said,Don’t complain.The dog rested its head in her lap.
The house came into view and took her breath away. The vantage point you got from the water was much more dramatic than what you saw when you approached it from the street. She was sure Henry had planned it that way, and she felt a pang. How she missed him. How adrift she felt. Why had he muddled this situation with his estate?
When they reached the dock, she counted out some bills from her wallet, handed them to Sean, and told him to keep the change.
“Well, that was refreshing,” she said as Kyle helped her off the boat.
“Glad you liked it,” he said. He followed her to the sliding glass doors at the back of the house.
Inside, it was steaming hot. None of the shades over the large windows had been drawn, and the sunlight poured through the skylights. If Emma Mapson had been there last night, she certainly hadn’t stayed very long.
“Put my bag in the master suite,” Bea said.
“Not the guest room?”
“No. Because I am not a guest. I ammoving in.”
Penny shifted in her chair, sitting on her hands so Dr. Wang wouldn’t see them. The backs of her hands were cracked and bleeding from overwashing, and they were also glistening with the Aquaphor Penny had slathered on before her appointment in an attempt to hide the fact that they were a mess.
“Penny, it doesn’t look like you’re sticking to the thirty-second rule,” Dr. Wang said. Eagle eye!
“I’m trying to,” Penny said. Actually, she wasn’t trying one bit. Lathering up the soap was one of the few ways to release the pressure she felt. It wasn’t pressure as in the pressure to perform or do anything. It was more like a psychic weight that rested on her. Drawing used to give her some relief, but now she couldn’t even enjoy that. She kept trying to sketch, but the second a stroke of her pencil strayed from her intention, when the lines didn’t cooperate, she couldn’t erase them and keep going. She had to throw the whole thing away no matter how far along she was. She knew it was wrong, she knew it was a compulsion, but she couldn’t help herself.
She told this to Dr. Wang, who then leaned back in her chair, wrote something on her notepad, and looked at Penny with a warm smile.
“It sounds like you’re having a tough time. A little bit of a setback.”
Penny nodded, her eyes tearing up.
“I spoke to Mom about the option of adding medication to our program,” Dr. Wang said. She always referred to Emma as “Mom.” It was kind of weird.
Penny knew her mother was against medication. Penny could only imagine how her mom would feel if she found out about the little white pills from Mindy. She had to stop with that.
“Would that mean I don’t have to come to therapy anymore?”
“No,” Dr. Wang said quickly. “Medication and therapy work together. Penny, why are you so averse to therapy?”
