Page 98 of The Husband Hour
“Traumatic brain injury.”
He nodded. “My brother wasn’t killed by the blast. He suffered what they call a primary blast injury and got a medical discharge. He had seizures. He was depressed, had memory loss. It was my junior year of college. I took some time off to be with him, but I barely recognized him. And then my senior year, I came home for winter break. We went to my aunt’s on Christmas Eve, but Ben stayed behind. He got bad headaches. My mother left the party early when he didn’t answer his phone. She was the one who found him. He’d shot himself in the head.”
Lauren covered her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry,” she said.
“So I became really obsessed with traumatic brain injury. And the more I researched, the more I found how often athletes suffered the same thing.”
“Okay, but it’s different. I mean, you can’t compare athletes and soldiers.”
“In this context, you can. And Rory happened to be both.”
“We don’t know for a fact that he suffered from traumatic brain injury.”
“I think it’s textbook. You know it too.”
She sipped her pink cocktail.
“Can I ask you a personal question?” he said.
“When have you asked me anything but personal questions?”
He made a waving gesture. “That was for work. I mean as a friend.”
Were they friends? “Sure. Ask away.”
“Why haven’t you dated since Rory’s death?”
The question felt like a slap. Her drink was suddenly too sweet, all sugar and no anesthetic effect.
“Because…because that part of my life is behind me.”
He shook his head. “Lauren, you know that’s not rational, right?”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Lauren, your husband died. It’s a tragedy. But it shouldn’t define the rest of your life.”
“Why shouldn’t it?”
“Should I let Ben’s death define me?”
“Aren’t you? Isn’t that what this whole thing is about? And besides, where’s your wife? Or girlfriend?”
“Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been a little consumed with work the past few years. My personal life has suffered. But I’m trying to do something positive.”
“Well, maybe I am too.”
“Or maybe you’re afraid.”
She pushed away her drink. “Maybe I don’t want to be in love again. I had a chance, I tried, and I failed.”
Matt shook his head. “Lauren, you didn’t fail.”
“Haven’t you listened to a thing I’ve said these past few weeks?”
“I’ve listened to every word you’ve said. And I’ve watched the footage. I know what you’ve said better than you do.”
“So then you know I left him when he needed me most.”
