Page 122 of The Husband Hour
It’s hard for me to imagine you reading this, being the cause of your hurt and at the same time not being there to help you through it. But I know you are a strong person. Don’t let whatever you are feeling today ruin your tomorrow. You deserve to be happy.
To me, you will always be the girl I saw running around the track on Arnold Field. I have no right to ask anything of you, but I will: Be that happy girl who loved running, writing, and her big sister. Please know that the worst mistakes were mine alone. And Lauren, if you’re out at night and you look up at the stars, remember that once upon a time, there was a boy who loved you and always will.
Rory
Lauren reread it and reread it. The date told her he’d written it before his first deployment but long after he’d betrayed her with her sister. The sentence that jumped out at her, that defined the entire letter, was the entreaty that she go back to being the girl who loved her big sister. The worst mistakes were mine alone. Well, technically that was not true. And maybe that event wasn’t even what he was referring to. But she felt that it was, that he wanted to take the blame.
The one thing she couldn’t find, even with the most creative interpretation of the letter, was any sense of whether or not he knew about Ethan.
She had to know. Unfortunately, the only living person who might have had the answer was the one person she’d sworn never to speak to again.
The house was quiet and empty. How many times had she wanted solitude but was instead surrounded by her family? And now she needed to talk to Stephanie and everyone was gone. Figured.
Late afternoon, close to four, was optimal beach time. The sun had peaked and ebbed; it was the perfect hour to doze off under an umbrella, read, or just comfortably watch the waves until dinner. She remembered when she was a kid, her grandmother had always been the last one off the beach, reluctantly dragging her chair back to the house only after her husband had showered, dressed for dinner, made a cocktail, and sent Lauren out to fetch her.
Out on the deck, Lauren cupped her hand over her eyes against the sunlight and looked toward the ocean. Sure enough, four beach chairs were lined up at the water’s edge. She didn’t bother walking around to use the gate; she just pulled off her sneakers and climbed over the wall separating her property from the beach.
As she trod through the sand, the idea of turning back crossed her mind half a dozen times. She didn’t.
I have to know.
Ethan’s delighted squeal caught her attention, and when she looked at the ocean, she saw him with her father, bobbing in the rolling waves.
“Be careful!” her mother called out to them, hidden from Lauren’s view by the umbrella.
Lauren stood behind the wall of chairs, unnoticed.
“It’s fine, Mom,” Stephanie said from the chair next to her mother.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Beth put her paperback down on the beach towel, stood up, and marched to the water, calling out, “Not so deep, Howard!”
Lauren slipped into her mother’s chair, and Stephanie nearly jumped out of hers.
“Jesus! You scared me,” Stephanie said.
“Let’s walk. I need to talk to you.”
Stephanie didn’t say a word, but she left her chair with a quick glance at their parents and Ethan before following her.
They walked north along the water, just past the first lifeguard stand. It was so miserably uncomfortable to be near Stephanie, Lauren gave up on finding a quiet spot just so she could get the conversation over with more quickly.
“You have to tell me: Did Rory know about Ethan?” Lauren blurted out.
Stephanie looked at her in surprise. “No! Absolutely not. I thought you understood that.”
“Understood that? Clearly, I didn’t understand anything, thanks to you!”
“I tried to warn you not to marry him.”
Lauren felt stricken. She’d thought about so much in the past twenty-four hours, yet she hadn’t considered their argument in the car that day in the airport. She had been certain Stephanie was just jealous of her engagement. How could she have imagined the truth?
“Why didn’t you tell me what happened?”
“If I told you that I…that we slept together, would that have stopped you from marrying him? Or would you have forgiven him and hated me?”
“If you’d told me about Ethan, I can guarantee I wouldn’t have married him.”
Stephanie shook her head. “You say that now.”
