Page 68 of The Fangirl Project
“Nothim.You!”
“What?” Max turns now, looking at me properly, his eyes searching mine as a frown begins to crumple his forehead.
“I didn’t need you to step in for me, you know. This is real life, Max. I’m not some damsel, and you’renotSir Grayson.”
“That wasn’t—”
“And it’s not up to you whether I join in a drinking game or not; I didn’t ask you to interfere. Maybe I wanted to—”
There it is. Thatscoff.
Again.
As if he knows better. As if he’s so high and mighty, and…
It boils my blood. It really, really does.
I sneer right back at him. “Please. You don’t know me, you don’t—”
“I know you better than you’re giving me credit for. Andanyonecould see that you were looking for any excuse not to join in that game. But let me guess—you’re worried what they’ll be saying about you, that you didn’tfit inwell enough.”
“It’s not a bad thing to want to fit in! Just because you don’t give two shits what people are saying behind your back—”
“You’re right. I don’t. If it’s that important, they’ll say it to myface.”
“Well, consider this me saying it to your face, Max—nobody likes a self-centered prick who spends all their time looking down on everybody else,especiallythose of us who actuallywantto fit in, who want people to like us, whocare.Being lonely doesn’t make you better than the rest of us—it just makes you an asshole.”
With nowhere else to go because he’s blocking my path to the living room and the rest of the hallway, I tromp up the stairs. The three girls are still there, though they’ve acquired some fresh drinks and nobody’s crying anymore.
“Yes, bish!” one of them yells to me as I clamber over them. Another says, “You tell him!”
At the top of the landing, I almost collide with Daphne. Her eyes are wide, her cheeks still flushed, but she doesn’t look like she’s having such a fun time anymore. If anything she looks annoyed,her glossy lips in a pout. Her curls are limp, and there’s a sheen of sweat around her forehead, some of her eye makeup smudged.
But when her eyes light on me, she lunges for me, grabbing my wrist with a smile. “Thereyou are! Omigod, Cerys, so Daniel totally kissed me—and then he said he was going to get a drink, and he’s justvanished.I thought maybe it was code for ‘meet him upstairs,’ but obviously not. Haha! God, how embarrassing…I was actually thinking I might just leave. Anyway, I’msoglad I found you. Shall we go back down to the party? How’s things going with Jake? You can tell me everything—”
And it’s all too much. Anissa and Jake, Max with his chivalry and Raf with his drinking games and Daphne wanting to ask about it all like I could eventell her.It’s too much, and I want to scream.
I wrench away from her, breathing hard, and snap, “Omigod,Daphne, I don’twantto talk about Jake. Or Daniel, or…”Or Max. Especially not Max.“Do you even hear yourself? I don’t want to talk about your shitty boy drama!”
“But…I wasn’t…” She blinks at me, her face blank, and for once she doesn’t look like the polished icon of put-togetherness that I’ve envied for the past couple of months. She looks young. She lookshurt.
And then her face contorts into a scowl that probably matches my own. “Well, screw you, Cerys! As ifyou’renot the one who’sconstantlywhining about this boy who doesn’t fancy you back, as if it’s theonlyinteresting thing going on in your life! Forgivemefor the fact that a guy actuallyisinterested in me, and you can’t handlethat!”
I don’t stop her as she storms off. I know—a tiny part of me knows—I should go after her. That I’ve been callous and cruel and she’s upset, and I didn’t mean any of that, but she’sright,I do only talk about Jake, and I should fix this…
But it’s such a small voice in the back of my mind, crushed quickly by the raging thought of:good riddance.At least now all my horrible secrets can stay buried.
By some miracle the bathroom is empty, and I shut myself in, being sure to slam the door to give myself that satisfaction of finality. Fight with Daphne aside, I’ve finally put Max in his place afterweeksof putting up with his attitude. I should feel on top of the world.
But instead, I’m standing in the middle of a bathroom clutching a drink I don’t even want, feeling more wretched than ever.
24
Nobody comes to knock andtell me to hurry up because they need to use the bathroom, so I don’t feel too guilty for hunkering down with my back against the door. Jake and Anissa are probably still downstairs realizing they’re soulmates, Daphne’s probably gone home early like she said, and Max is…
Well, who cares about him anyway?
Me, I do.Just a little.
