Page 3 of The Fangirl Project
“Won’t you get in trouble? I thought you had to help…”
He shook his head. “Nah, they’ll be fine for a few hours. Comeon.”
We ended up walking along the canal for a while. As usual,Jake chatted a mile a minute about anything and everything. I was pretty crap company. I kept fidgeting with the tape, turning it around and around and picking at the end.
Eventually we got to one of the locks, and Jake clambered along the thick wooden beam to sit, his legs dangling. TheNo Climbingsign glared at me from the opposite side of the bank, but Jake beamed at me, so I followed him.
I’d been harboring a crush on Jake for a little while, but when he put his hand on mine, I couldn’t even think about how this was A Huge Deal and whether I should lean my head on his shoulder or turn in for a kiss. I just gulped down a shaky breath.
“Your dad’s moving out, then?” he said.
“Yeah. I know I’ve been saying I wish they’d just get on with it, and I can’t wait to have some peace and quiet once they’re not living in the same house and constantly arguing, but…I don’t know, it’s justweird.”
“Weird doesn’t have to be a bad thing.”
“I know. I know, but…” Tears started welling up, and I didn’t have it in me to blink them away. Jake patted his pockets for tissues he definitely didn’t have, then scooted closer and tucked me into his side instead. “Everything’s changing, you know? Dad’s moving out, we’re heading into sixth form,you’releaving—”
“Hey, I’m not going anywhere, Cer. Well—all right, technically I’m goingsomewhere,but that doesn’t change anything. Not between us! We’re still best friends, aren’t we? We’ll always have each other. Geography’s got nothing to do with how much I loveya.”
He said it so casually, and it wasn’t like it was the first timeeither of us had ever said “Love ya!” But itwasthe first time I realized I wanted it to mean something more. It was the first time I had this pang in my chest like,I want you to beinlove with me, though.
Which, obviously, I didn’t say out loud, because I didn’t want to ruin such a nice moment. He was reaffirming how much I meant to him, and I really,reallyneeded to hear that from someone rightthen.
So we just sat on the canal lock, legs swinging, leaning into each other. We talked about all the things we’d do this summer, when we’d see each other after he moved, what films we’d see in the cinema…
And I thought:This is him. This is the boy I’m going to fall in love with.
—
Faced with Jake and hisnew best friendin the convention hall, I have two immediate choices.
Run sobbing to the nearest bathroom because I thought it was just going to be the two of us, and my plan to be Jake’s number-one fandom friend and then his girlfriend has been ruined by the fact he’s alreadyfounda fandom friend, and end up alienating both of them with my reaction; or
Be super chill and act super nice to Max, thus infiltrating their new friendship so I can swiftly underminehim and remind Jake thatIam his best friend, not this interloper he barely knows.
It’s not that difficult to decide.
Which is why I give Max the very best smile I can muster and say, “Wow, great wig! That’s such a cool, um,cosplay.”
A word I know thanks to Jake, and which I can’t believe I’ve actually just had to use in real life. I’m reeling—too busy trying to take it all in to care if they think I’m staring.
Can you blame me, though? This guy is dressed up like—like—well, I don’t know what, because I haven’t actually seen the show, but he’s in armor and a cloak and wearingelf ears.He doesn’t even have a backpack with him; did he get on the bus looking like this? Actually go out in public and leave the house wearing thatstuff?
I genuinely can’t fathom it. The mental image is so outlandish to me, it’s pure static in my brain. And, oh God, is Jake going to start dressing up in cosplay too now? AmIgoing to have to, if I want to fit in and be part of all this?
The skin on the back of my neck prickles and I’m aware of a pair of eyes boring into me. I find Max looking at me, taking in my sundress and obvious lack of “I’m anOf Wrath and Runefan!” accessories, and he actuallysmirks.
LikeI’mthe one dressed up like an idiot.
“He looks totally badass!” Jake crows, slinging an arm around Max and giving him the same affectionate shake he’s given me a hundred times. I feel a stab of jealousy.
