Page 91 of The Lady on Esplanade
Bernie turned his head at the sound of a car horn honking.
“Thank you,” I said.“For everything.Now go find Frank.I’ll be in touch if I find out anything about the wig.And you do the same.”
He gave me a thumbs-up and then continued down the path around the stone building.
Sarah sat down in his vacated spot next to me on the bench, neither of us speaking as we watched him disappear around the corner of the building.
“I told you she wasn’t dead,” Sarah said softly.
I looked at my sister, not needing to clarify who she meant.“But how did you see her if she isn’t dead?”
“Because she’s not alive, either.Maybe that’s why she’s angry.Maybe she’s ready to die and Cooper is keeping her here.”
The sky had already begun to darken, heralding an early sunset.It would be fully dark before we’d made our way across campus.“Let’s go,” I said.
She steadied the scooter while I placed my knee on the cushion, and then we headed down the path toward Percival Stern Hall, its midcentury windows and stark architecture appearing even more brutal to me than usual.I barely noticed the streetlight as we crossed Freret Street at the crosswalk.
“There’s one more thing you should probably know,” Sarah said, sounding out of breath as she jogged to keep up with me and my scooter.“But I don’t know if you can handle one more thing.”
I stopped to catch my own breath and faced her.“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?Because I can only take a one or a two right now.”
She thought for a moment.“It’s a one or two.”
I continued propelling the scooter as she jogged to catch up.“Then go ahead.I’m ready.”
“Have you ever met Uncle Bernie’s wife?”
I thought for a moment, trying to remember.“No.I don’t think I have.Although he talks about her a lot whenever we meet, so I feel as if I know her.”
Sarah’s eyes became serious.“That’s because she’s dead.I saw her last time I was here, too.In Jackson Square.She’s sad because he’s so lonely.”
In the grand scheme of things, this tragic revelation was a one or two on my scale of personal disasters.But it was also the tipping point of my emotional state, which over the past several months had accumulated such baggage as my move to New Orleans, managing my addiction, buying my new house, starting a new job, getting into a car crash, and being swarmed by numerous spirit energies despite my reluctance to engage them.
The only thing I was sure of at that moment was that I wouldn’t cry.I’d dealt with much worse events in my life and hadn’t shed a tear.Tears were for those who had the time to wallow in their misery.After each major disaster in my life I hadn’t had the luxury of falling apart.I’d needed to remain standing just for my survival, and it would take a lot more than simultaneous betrayal by the two men in my life to make me break down.
But that didn’t mean I wasn’t stewing in anger and hurt.Clenching my teeth together so hard that my jaw hurt, I kept my scooter moving forward, heedless of the stares of passersby and Sarah’s running footsteps and the jingling of Mardi’s tags behind me as my sister continued the apologetic litany that followed me all the way back to the apartment.
CHAPTER 28
The following morning I awoke to multiple texts from Jolene.I could tell they were hers from the sheer abundance of emojis.Only Sarah used them with the same frequency, but she was twelve.
“Awoke” was too strong a word following the fitful restlessness and tossing and turning—as much as I could toss and turn while keeping my foot elevated—that had occupied the majority of the time I’d spent in my bed.More than once, I’d begun to dial Melanie’s number before changing my mind.I needed advice, but I couldn’t call her.Instead, I’d texted Jolene and fallen asleep while waiting for a response.
I imagined her having fun with her extended family members, all of them sounding just like her, and I felt a stab of homesickness for my own family.Or maybe Jolene was having too much fun with Jaxson, something I preferred not to think about.I’d finally turned off my phone around midnight, since waiting for it to beep was part of what was keeping me awake.
By morning my eyes were crusty and swollen from crying and lack of sleep, and I had to wash my face in cold water to clear myvision and my head so that I could attempt to read Jolene’s texts.Flipping through them, I saw that she’d sent me multiple pictures of what appeared to be a red car.Despite the smiley-face and heart emojis that accompanied the photos, my stomach did a sick somersault when I realized they were pictures of the Ford Mustang that Jaxson would be driving back to New Orleans for me.
I considered staying in bed and turning off my phone again.I didn’t want to talk to Beau or Cooper, because despite going over various scenarios in my head instead of sleeping, I hadn’t come up with a single one that could adequately express my anger and disappointment.And my hurt.
Maybe it was a good thing that Sarah was with me, because otherwise I would have rolled over and shoved my face into my pillow so the world would go away at least for a while.But Sarah was probably awake and waiting for me.You have bravery on steroids, and I can talk to dead people.It’s, like, our superpowers.I had serious doubts about my bravery, but for her I had to at least pretend.
Using my crutches, I went in search of Sarah.She was still in her pajamas and wearing a pair of fluffy dog slippers that looked a lot like Mardi, who was curled under her chair at the dining table.
Sarah jumped up, pulled out two chairs for me, and helped me sit.“Hang on.I’ll get your coffee.Jolene warned me what might happen if you weren’t caffeinated first thing.”She ran into the kitchen and returned with a coffee mug with Dorothy’s ruby red slippers dotting its pink ceramic surface.It was Jolene’s favorite mug, but I wasn’t coherent enough to mention that.I’d just need to make sure that it was washed, dried, and returned to its spot before Jolene got back, or there would be repercussions.Like being forced to wear false eyelashes.Or pantyhose (something I’d never seen before I’d roomed with Jolene).
Sarah put the mug in front of me and I took a grateful sip.
“Are you feeling better?”
